Art is considered an essential part of all cultures throughout the world. However, these days fewer and fewer people appreciate art and turn their focus to science, technology and business. Why do you think that is? What could be done to encourage more people to take an interest in the arts?

#art #part #cultures #world #people #focus #science #technology #business #interest #arts

In today's modern world, each

nationʼs

Correct your spelling

nation's

art

culture is an important part

Change preposition

of.

show examples

Although

most

people

focus on science and technology, other

people

focus on

art

, but it is increasing very slowly. In

this

essay, I will discuss the reasons why my

art

is important and the reasons why I am interested in

art

. On the one hand, one of the important reasons for losing interest in

art

is that there is no job market career in

art

In other words

art

is viewed as a hobby rather than an independent main business

that is

passed down from generation to generation.

For

example

Add a comma

,example

show examples

visual arts culture, dance and music,

arts

Correct word choice

and arts

show examples

like painting are always considered food and hobbies to relieve after-hours stress that can be studied. When

people

are engaged in

art

, they feel great joy.

On the other hand

, the government is a

hood

Correct your spelling

good

show examples

solution to increase the awareness among the generation to increase the interest in

art

among the youth. The government helps solve

this

problem in the

labor

Change the spelling

labour

show examples

market by rewarding artists

higher

Change preposition

with higher

show examples

wages.

For example

, many artists participated in a recent global exhibition.

This

exhibition revealed that there are many young artists and their artworks. Our government has created a lot of opportunities for the winning

toung

Correct your spelling

young

song

people

and has given them the opportunity to take online courses,

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

open

art

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

and

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

earn money. To sum up,

art

is an important part of many cultures. But

still

Add a comma

,still

show examples

most

people

use technology and other science as their professional basis. To solve

this

problem, it is necessary to increase

people

's interest in

art

Submitted by Premium Version on Fri Jan 20 2023

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

267 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Technological advancement
Economic growth
STEM subjects
Job security
Financial success
Pragmatic
Utilitarian pursuits
Art education
Inclusive
Engaging
Contemporary society
Social issues
Environmental themes
Digital platforms
Virtual museums
Interactive art

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Art is considered an essential part of all cultures throughout the world. However, these days fewer and fewer people appreciate art and turn their focus to science, technology and business. Why do you think that is? What could be done to encourage more people to take an interest in the arts?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think young people are not suitable for important positions in the government，while other people think it is a good idea for young people to take on these positions. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In most successful companies, some people think that communication between employers and workers is the most important factor. Other people say that other factors are more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Establishing good relationships in the workplace is not important, as the primary goal of every person is to focus on work. To what extent do you agree with this statement