Some people are of the opinion that the best gift to give teenagers is Money, others think otherwise. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #gift #teenagers #money

Some

group

Fix the agreement mistake

groups

show examples

people

think that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

it is better to give

money

to teenagers on special occasions

such

as public holidays and birthdays.

However

, others think it is not appropriate.

This

essay will discuss both these points of view and argue in favour of the former. On the one hand,

money

has a huge effect on almost everything in our life.

People

can buy whatever they want with it which makes the

money

so powerful.

Moreover

, sometimes kids are not satisfied with their gifts.

That is

why many

people

think that it is better to give

money

, so that, children will buy whatever they want

Change preposition

for

show examples

themselves.

For instance

, in China, teenagers

receives

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receive

show examples

money

from their relatives and parents on holidays and they use that

money

for their education and future plans. Each individual knows themselves better than anyone and they know how to utilise the given

money

Change the article

the

show examples

best way.

On the other hand

, especially for younger

people

, controlling

money

and spending it

are

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show examples

not an easy

thing

Fix the agreement mistake

things

show examples

. Because generally, they can not understand how challenging to earn

money

. They may buy something irrelevant or meaningless to themselves with the given

money

For example

, one of my friends'

cousin

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cousins

show examples

spent all his

money

to buy a new gaming console but now, he is not playing video games because of his studies. In conclusion, for some individuals, giving

Remove the article

apply

show examples

money

to young

people

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

thought to be the best gift option,

however

Add a comma

,however

show examples

others do not agree with

this

opinion. In my opinion, it is better to give

money

to young individuals. So that, they can spend that

money

according to their needs. They can

also

learn how to control and spend

money

and it can be

wonderful

Add an article

a wonderful

show examples

experience for them too.

Submitted by turalabdulsamad on Fri Jan 20 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

292 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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Topic Vocabulary:

Financial freedom
Money management
Practicality
Irresponsible spending
Thoughtfulness
Creativity
Sentimental value
Tailored gifts
Interests
Hobbies
Balance
Personal circumstances
Memorable gifts

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Some people are of the opinion that the best gift to give teenagers is Money, others think otherwise. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe online materials should only be used for children to learn to read. while other believe only printed reading materials should be used. Discuss both views and give your opinions.

Influence of human being on the world ecosystem is leading to the extinction of species and loss of biodiversity. what are the causes and solutions?

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