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Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries around the world, life expectancy is increasing. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this situation and give your own opinion.

#countries #world #life #expectancy #situation
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Nowadays, in
majority
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the majority
a majority
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 of nations,
people
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 live more than they used to
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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.
This
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 essay will examine both advantages and
disadvantages
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 of increasing
life
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expectancy
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 and provide a logical conclusion. The two main advantages of increasing
life
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expectancy
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 are long
life
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 for
people
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 and more
time
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 to spend with their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
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.
Firstly
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,
majority
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the majority
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 of humans in
this
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world
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 want to live a long
life
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 and do not want to die young.
Life
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 is beautiful and they would like to enjoy every
beauties
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beauty
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 of their
life
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.
For instance
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, they want to travel around the
world
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, enjoy their
retirement
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 in good living conditions and etc.
Secondly
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,
people
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 always would like to spend more
time
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 as they can with their family. When
people
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 are retired, they have more leisure
time
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 to spend with their family members.
For example
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, they can spend some
time
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 with their old friends and grandchildren. But increasing
life
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expectancy
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also
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 has major
disadvantages
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such
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 as increasing
world
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population
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 and altering
minimum
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the minimum
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retirement
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 age.
In these
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These
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 days,
life
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expectancy
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 and the
population
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 of the
world
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 are increasing
with
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in
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 the same pattern and
this
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 can cause serious problems.
For example
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, in the future, as
the
Correct article usage
apply
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population
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 growth continues, more resources will be needed to
fullfill
Correct your spelling
fulfil
full fill
 the expectations of individuals. As
people
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 exploit the natural and food resources in
this
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world
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, it will be more challenging to feed and provide the
people
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 with what they want in the future.
Moreover
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,
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retirement
Correct article usage
the retirement
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 age can
also
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 increase so
people
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 may even work
at
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in
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 their
70's
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70s
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.
This
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 will make young
people
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to
Change the verb form
apply
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find a job more difficult than ever. In my opinion,
increase
Add an article
an increase
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of
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in
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life
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expectancy
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 has more advantages than
disadvantages
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. In conclusion,
although
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 growing
life
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expectancy
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 has some major
disadvantages
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such
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 as increasing
population
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 and
retirement
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 ages, it
also
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 has benefits like
long
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a long
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life
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 for
people
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 and more
leasure
Correct your spelling
leisure
time
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 to spend. I think that
,
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apply
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 everybody should live more and experience
this
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 wonderful
life
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 as much as they can.
Submitted by turalabdulsamad on

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • life expectancy
  • demographics
  • societal development
  • healthcare system
  • pension funds
  • multigenerational
  • workforce
  • economic sustainability
  • intergenerational inequality
  • longevity
  • proactive policy
  • geriatrics
  • senior citizens
  • ageing population
  • fertility rates
  • dependency ratio
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