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Band 5.5

Some people believe that if an individual behaves in an anti social manner such as committing a crime, then society is to blame.What are the cause s of anti social behaviour?who do you think is responsible?

#people #manner #crime #society #behaviour
It is believed by several individuals
,
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apply
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if someone
behave
Change the verb form
behaves
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 in an
anti social
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anti-social
show examples
 manner,
society
 should take
the
Correct article usage
apply
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responsibility
 to make
such
criminal
Correct article usage
a criminal
show examples
.
Actually
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,Actually
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thereare
Correct your spelling
there are
 many causes of
this
 behaviour.
This
 essay intends to analyse some causes of
this
 phenomenon and give my personal opinion regarding
responsibility
Add an article
the responsibility
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 of that.
Firstly
,lack of education is one of
important
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the important
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 causes that leads to
create
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creating
show examples
Add an article
a person
the person
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person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
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who do socially unacceptable faults. As education build complete individual,all
people
 in one
society
 should be educated by
Correct article usage
a relavent
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relavent
Correct your spelling
relevant
 country.Nowadays we can hear news regarding
crimes
 which has happened in
countries
 like India,Thailand and China.These
countries
 have
low
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a low
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level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
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 of literacy rates compared to other
countries
.
Therefore
 it is evident that not educated
people
 do more
crimes
 than educated individuals.
Secondly
,in
this
 present
world
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,world
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 social media like Facebook,
instergram
Correct your spelling
Instagram
 and
you tube
Correct your spelling
youtube
show examples
 have become more popular among
people
 regardless of age.And
also
 these things are not controlled properly by law.
As a result
 of that ,adolescents and children can gain unlimited access. It leads to misuse of social networks and recently more
crimes
such
 as murders,
rape
Correct word choice
and rape
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 cases have
reported
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been reported
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 from different
countries
.
Finally
,I am unable to point out
finger
Correct article usage
the finger
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 towards one individual who should take the
responsibility
 for
Add an article
the anti
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anti social
Add a hyphen
anti-social
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 behaviour of criminals.According to my point of
view
Add a comma
,view
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 all of us must have equal
responsibility
 to build
successful
Add an article
a successful
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society
 with good
people
. To summarise,
although
 there is a belief that
society
 should be blamed for
Correct article usage
the occuranace
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occuranace
Correct your spelling
occurrence
 of
crimes
,we can't directly scold
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
society
. Each individual has
responsibility
Add an article
the responsibility
a responsibility
show examples
 to prevent crime from our
sorrounding
Correct your spelling
surrounding
surroundings
.
Submitted by nayomiathukorala40 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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