IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

Philippine is the most populated country in Asia. Do you agree or disagree?

#philippine #country #asia
The table describes how much
distance
 and
passengers
 per
year
does
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
six major
metropolis
Change to a plural noun
metropolises
show examples
 use the underground
railway
 system. The study is conducted from the date of
railway
Correct article usage
the railway
show examples
 opening and the unit which is used are
kilometers
Change the spelling
kilometres
show examples
 and millions. Overall, London marked the highest
distance
 of route from the beginning of
railway
Correct article usage
the railway
show examples
 system while Kyoto got the
least
Correct your spelling
last
show examples
 record in the data. Meanwhile,
passengers
 per
year
 in Tokyo accounted
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
 top rank and Los Angeles got the lowest number of
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
.
In the
Change preposition
The
show examples
 opening of the underground
railway
 in the
year
 1863, it depicts the longest
distance
 of 394
kilometers
Change the spelling
kilometres
show examples
 among the six cities, wherein, Kyoto's
railway
 opening in 1981 got the shortest
distance
 of 11
kilometers
Change the spelling
kilometres
show examples
 only. While during the Los Angeles
railway
 opening in 2001 that it slightly added 17
kilometers
Change the spelling
kilometres
show examples
 from 11
kilometers
Change the spelling
kilometres
show examples
for
Change preposition
over
show examples
 the past 2 decades.
Passengers
 in
railway
Add an article
the railway
show examples
 of Tokyo got the number 1 rank as it accounted
1,928
Change preposition
for 1,928
show examples
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
millions
Correct your spelling
million
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
 compared to the opening of London's
railway
 64 years ago.
Subsequently
, the number of
passengers
 per
year
plumetted
Correct your spelling
plummeted
 to 45
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in the
year
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1981 in Kyoto, which
similarly
 got the lowest
distance
 of route during its opening among the 6 cities.
Submitted by maymosqueda on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: