Nowadays, a large amount of advertising is aimed at children, so some people think there are lots of negative effects on children, and should ban it. To what extent you agree or disagree?

In the technology era, there is a plethora of advertising being focused on

children

Use synonyms

. some people argue that these advertising have detrimental effects on youngsters so the authority should ban them. Personally, I agree that

this

Linking Words

phenomenon can

cause

Verb problem

have

show examples

a negative impact on

children

Use synonyms

, but it should not be banned because I think it still has several benefits On the one hand, advertising aimed at youngsters can affect the finances of families. Some companies try to attract their customers, especially

children

Use synonyms

, through advertising, so after watching the advertisement, the

children

Use synonyms

will ask their parents to buy the product.

For example

Linking Words

, some advertising of video game companies is focused on young people, so these younger want to have video game devices.

Therefore

Linking Words

the parents will pay the amount of money for their kids to buy these game

equiments

Correct your spelling

requirements

On the other hand

Linking Words

, there are many advertisements

having

Wrong verb form

that have

show examples

benefits for

children

Use synonyms

. Chief among these is that advertising has an educational advantage. Many advertisements provide some essential

knowdgele

Correct your spelling

knowledge

for juveniles. Take the toothpaste advertisement as an example. The

children

Use synonyms

can learn how to brush their teeth correctly after watching it. Another advantage is that these advertisements can give users a basic tutorial.

For example

Linking Words

, if the

children

Use synonyms

want to buy a puzzle, the advertisement of

this

Linking Words

puzzle can guide them on how to play it. In conclusion, I believe that the amount of advertising targeting

children

Use synonyms

can

bring

Verb problem

have

show examples

a detrimental impact, but it still has some good sides for

children

Use synonyms

That is

Linking Words

the reason why the

authority

Fix the agreement mistake

authorities

show examples

should not ban it.

totruonganspk

Jan 21, 2023

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Language

Revise for grammatical accuracy, especially subject-verb agreement and plural forms (e.g., 'advertising' instead of 'advertisings').

Cohesion

Ensure to clearly separate your main ideas in each paragraph; you could improve paragraph transitions.

Task Response

Strengthen the conclusion by summarizing both sides briefly before your final opinion to enhance clarity.

Task Achievement

The essay presents a balanced view by acknowledging both the negative and positive aspects of advertising aimed at children.

Task Achievement

Examples provided are relevant and help illustrate your points, especially with the toothpaste advertisement.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

258 words

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Nowadays, a large amount of advertising is aimed at children, so some people think there are lots of negative effects on children, and should ban it. To what extent you agree or disagree?

Some countries are struggling with increasing crime rates. Many people think that having more police on the streets is the only way to reduce crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these view and give your own opinion.

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