Nowadays, a large amount of advertising is aimed at children, so some people think there are lots of negative effects on children, and should ban it. To what extent you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

In the technology era, there is a plethora of advertising being focused on

children

Use synonyms

. some people argue that these advertising have detrimental effects on youngsters so the authority should ban them. Personally, I agree that

this

Linking Words

phenomenon can

cause

Verb problem

have

show examples

a negative impact on

children

Use synonyms

, but it should not be banned because I think it still has several benefits On the one hand, advertising aimed at youngsters can affect the finances of families. Some companies try to attract their customers, especially

children

Use synonyms

, through advertising, so after watching the advertisement, the

children

Use synonyms

will ask their parents to buy the product.

For example

Linking Words

, some advertising of video game companies is focused on young people, so these younger want to have video game devices.

Therefore

Linking Words

the parents will pay the amount of money for their kids to buy these game

equiments

Correct your spelling

requirements

On the other hand

Linking Words

, there are many advertisements

having

Wrong verb form

that have

show examples

benefits for

children

Use synonyms

. Chief among these is that advertising has an educational advantage. Many advertisements provide some essential

knowdgele

Correct your spelling

knowledge

for juveniles. Take the toothpaste advertisement as an example. The

children

Use synonyms

can learn how to brush their teeth correctly after watching it. Another advantage is that these advertisements can give users a basic tutorial.

For example

Linking Words

, if the

children

Use synonyms

want to buy a puzzle, the advertisement of

this

Linking Words

puzzle can guide them on how to play it. In conclusion, I believe that the amount of advertising targeting

children

Use synonyms

can

bring

Verb problem

have

show examples

a detrimental impact, but it still has some good sides for

children

Use synonyms

That is

Linking Words

the reason why the

authority

Fix the agreement mistake

authorities

show examples

should not ban it.

totruonganspkSat Jan 21 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Language

Revise for grammatical accuracy, especially subject-verb agreement and plural forms (e.g., 'advertising' instead of 'advertisings').

Cohesion

Ensure to clearly separate your main ideas in each paragraph; you could improve paragraph transitions.

Task Response

Strengthen the conclusion by summarizing both sides briefly before your final opinion to enhance clarity.

Task Achievement

The essay presents a balanced view by acknowledging both the negative and positive aspects of advertising aimed at children.

Task Achievement

Examples provided are relevant and help illustrate your points, especially with the toothpaste advertisement.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

258 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
In the past, when students did a university degree, they tended to study in their own country. Nowadays, they have more opportunity to abroad. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development? You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidences
In the modern era today, pupils have more options to study in their homeland or in another country. In this essay, I will show some benefits and drawbacks of studying in another country rather than in their homeland.
7
band
Nowadays people around the world are choosing to self-medicate rather than seeing a doctor and using conventional medicine. What are the causes of this change and what effects can be seen as a result?
In recent times, there has been a noticeable shift towards self-medication instead of seeking professional medical advice and utilizing conventional medicine. This trend can be attributed to several factors, and its consequences are multifaceted.
7
band
You are planning a short visit to a city where one of your relatives lives. Write a letter to your relative. In your letter: • Explain when and how long you will be in town. • Ask whether you can stay at their home. • Offer to pay for yourself.
It's been a long time since we saw each other. I am writing this letter to let you know about my plan. I will be visiting the city near your hometown on 22 September 2023. I have planned to stay in this city for three weeks, which is enough time to live here temporarily and go to visit other places.
6.5
band
In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in
Nowadays, more people are becoming curious about the background story of the house or building they live in. It happens in some countries, especially in countries that have several histories and their people have more concerns about it. In this essay, I will share my thoughts about this phenomenon.
6.5
band
With the development of social media, more and more youngsters are being allowed unsupervised access to the Internet. What potential problems may this trend lead to? What solutions can you suggest to deal with it?
It is clear that the invention of the Internet has led to dramatic changes in the way information is shared. However, there is a view that social media, which is a part of the Internet, has risen in popularity for young people to access without any supervision from parents. This essay will discuss some of the issues that might arise as a result of this situation and propose some ways to mitigate them.

Nowadays, a large amount of advertising is aimed at children, so some people think there are lots of negative effects on children, and should ban it. To what extent you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

Nowadays people around the world are choosing to self-medicate rather than seeing a doctor and using conventional medicine. What are the causes of this change and what effects can be seen as a result?

You are planning a short visit to a city where one of your relatives lives. Write a letter to your relative. In your letter: • Explain when and how long you will be in town. • Ask whether you can stay at their home. • Offer to pay for yourself.

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in

With the development of social media, more and more youngsters are being allowed unsupervised access to the Internet. What potential problems may this trend lead to? What solutions can you suggest to deal with it?