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Using computer every day can have more negatives than positive effects on young children. Do you agree or disagree?

#computer #negatives #effects #children
As technology spread wide these days, it becomes easier for children to deal with computers on daily basis. In my opinion, I completely agree that
this
 phenomenon has a bad influence on them
especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
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 on their health and social skills.
Firstly
, long sitting on computers may cause a number of health problems for them. Painful back pain that comes from an improper way of sitting in front of the screen might be a major health issue.
Moreover
, a study shows that 35% of cases of young people who wear glasses
caused
Add a missing verb
are caused
show examples
 by the blue ray
which
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 all
computer’s
Change noun form
computer
show examples
 screens generate.
Also
, most of the children who spent a big part of their
time
 on computers tend to eat junk food and refuse to do exercises which causes obesity and
this
 eventually leads to heart
dieses
Correct your spelling
disease
.
Secondly
, at
this
 critical age, social skills are significant and have a major impact on the children’s characteristics.
Hence
, a lack of these skills might be problematic essentially when it comes to
communicate
Change the verb form
communicating
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 in a formal context
such
 as job interviews, conferences, and presentations. All of
that is
 caused by a large amount of
time
 spent in front of the screen
instead
 of communicating with others and improving these abilities at a young age.
Finally
, childhood and teenage are the stages of life where people create their best memories so
instead
 of staring at a screen the whole
time
 which, personally, I think is a waste of
time
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
this
 age. In conclusion,
although
 technology is an essential part of our life, I suppose that letting our children use technology every day is harmful to their bodies and personalities.
Submitted by yazantariq35 on

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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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