Some people think that government should change they way individual live, while others believe that they should choose the way themselves. Discuss both points of view and give your opinion.

The public confronts a moot issue in which the state should take control and alter the
way
citizens live rather than being without any participation. Taking control over the living
way
of the community is likely to demonstrate some detrimental aspects no matter how beneficial aspects it demonstrates. Now, I will try my utmost to jot down the moot issue below for arriving at the conclusion in the end.
First
and foremost, there are still some humans behind the term "government". It means that the group of
people
who are considered decision-makers has the potential to make
decisions
based on their personal beliefs or interest. It is a significant risk aspect which could not be ignored. Having seen the status quo in Mongolia, there were some old cases which could be proving
this
justification. In the early 2000s, some disadvantaged groups
such
as the homeless,
people
who were addicted to alcohol, prostitutes, and street children were forced to get out of the capital city during the national holidays in order to be seen the city as a well-appeared and clean city for foreign visitors.
Hence
, it could bring some detrimental impact on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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human rights since our government is considered as not capable well and couldn't receive its citizens' respectiveness. As far as my own standpoint is enunciated in an advocative
way
, how to live is a fundamental human right if they are not influenced or conflicted with others' right. All
people
do have not the same desire or objectives
such
as some prefer proper education while remained part wants financial independence.
Therefore
, participating in
communities
Change the noun form
community
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life from a solid perspective seems so utopian.
On the other hand
,
people
have to be responsible for their own
decisions
and actions.
This
principle helps us to build a more democratic and well-principled society, I hope so.
Hence
, giving the right to make a choice by themselves as well as the responsibility to follow their choices is one of the effective principles in modern society. Once and for all, I would leap to a logical conclusion that there is a risk that politicians make wrong
decisions
that are harmful to human rights while
people
would be less responsible for their own
decisions
or choices if the government take control over the
way
citizens live.
Therefore
, I strongly disagree with the given statement after discussing the impact of both points of view.
Submitted by Jargalmaa Ganzorig on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • governmental intervention
  • sustainable living
  • lifestyle choices
  • implementing taxes
  • enforcing regulations
  • personal freedom
  • individual responsibility
  • systemic issues
  • public health crises
  • loss of personal freedoms
  • behavioral change
  • framework for a healthy environment
  • judicious blend
  • protect public health
  • respect individual freedoms
  • encourage personal responsibility
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