IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Today People are no longer active and fit as they use to be due to the nature of work nowadays, What are the causes of this? What solutions can you proffer

#people #nature #work
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
These days, people have become a slave to a hectic line , which leads them to idle and out-of-shape bodies. The consequences of overworking can be reduced by adding some workout activities to the employment environment. After doing a critical analysis of the major causes of the issue ,I would like to discuss how giving some time off to the workforce Is fruitful for their overall growth . The overwhelming of employment and multitasking put a burden on the employees . In order to fulfil the targets , some workers forget to take their lunch breaks . The mechanism
also
 works as fuel to the fire , which makes the situation worse. With the help of machines, people tend to stay remain in one place for a long time without doing any physical activity.
Submitted by ranusukh77 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary
  • inactive
  • fitness
  • workplace
  • technology-dependent
  • physical activity
  • fast-paced
  • stressful
  • unhealthy
  • eating habits
  • motivation
  • time constraints
What to do next:
Look at other essays: