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Band 5

In your opinion, what are the advantages and disadvantages of extreme or adventure sports?

#adventure #sports
Nowadays, extreme sports have become popular ,especially since footage or snaps of videos of people who are into these activities are widely featured on social media.
This
 essay will discuss the pros and cons of
this
 type of game. In my opinion, the benefits of doing "adrenaline athletics" as others call them, are being able to develop discipline, precision, patience, courage, determination, and confidence in the players.
On the other hand
, there are disadvantages as well,
firstly
,
this
 kind of activity could endanger life. One example of an extreme or adventurous activity
that is
 popular nowadays is motocross which is
also
 one of the causes of leading death
due to
 accidents in a sporting event.
Secondly
, it can
as well
Rephrase
also
show examples
 cause injuries which require an ample amount of money for medical response. And
finally
, it can
also
 lead to permanent disability that can affect the quality of life.
Therefore
, I conclude that though there are good qualities that can be developed through
this
 pastime, it does not outweigh the risk it
put
Wrong verb form
puts
show examples
 on one's life.
Submitted by lernafe7 on

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task response
The essay effectively addresses the advantages and disadvantages of extreme sports. The introduction sets the tone for the discussion, and the conclusion wraps up the points well. More depth in analysis and more varied examples could further enhance the response.
coherence and cohesion
The essay shows good coherence and cohesion with a clear introduction and conclusion. The main points are well supported and logically developed. To further improve, ensure smoother transitions between ideas and provide more specific details.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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