In your opinion, what are the advantages and disadvantages of extreme or adventure sports?

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Nowadays, extreme sports have become popular ,especially since footage or snaps of videos of people who are into these activities are widely featured on social media.
This
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essay will discuss the pros and cons of
this
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type of game. In my opinion, the benefits of doing "adrenaline athletics" as others call them, are being able to develop discipline, precision, patience, courage, determination, and confidence in the players.
On the other hand
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, there are disadvantages as well,
firstly
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,
this
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kind of activity could endanger life. One example of an extreme or adventurous activity
that is
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popular nowadays is motocross which is
also
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one of the causes of leading death
due to
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accidents in a sporting event.
Secondly
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, it can
as well
Rephrase
also
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cause injuries which require an ample amount of money for medical response. And
finally
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, it can
also
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lead to permanent disability that can affect the quality of life.
Therefore
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, I conclude that though there are good qualities that can be developed through
this
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pastime, it does not outweigh the risk it
put
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puts
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on one's life.
Submitted by lernafe7 on

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task response
The essay effectively addresses the advantages and disadvantages of extreme sports. The introduction sets the tone for the discussion, and the conclusion wraps up the points well. More depth in analysis and more varied examples could further enhance the response.
coherence and cohesion
The essay shows good coherence and cohesion with a clear introduction and conclusion. The main points are well supported and logically developed. To further improve, ensure smoother transitions between ideas and provide more specific details.

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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