IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Some people say History is one of the most important school subject. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #history #school #today’s #world #subjects #science #technology
There has been a long-lasting argument that whether history important’ s importance
supercedes
Correct your spelling
supersedes
 Science and Technology. I personally believe that
Correct article usage
the educational
show examples
educational
Replace the word
education
show examples
 system should mainly focus on the Science and Technological types of
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
, while
history’
Change noun form
history’s
show examples
 vital role in
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
society is impossible to be ignored. It is proved that a society needs to connect its roots in culture, traditions and more importantly morality. During school time, it is the best time
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 learning historical matters, taught by some specializations.
Next
 to the beneficial nature of history, being in an interactive atmosphere like a school class boost our passion and curiosity to gain more deep insights
of
Change preposition
into
show examples
 any subject.
On the other hand
, there should be a major
emphesis
Correct your spelling
emphasis
 on the parts of subjects which lead students to make money better.
Next
 to
this
 matter, nowadays, the modern would require more those expertise which
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 closely relevant to industry and production. According to these insights, educational systems are more efficient to prepare students for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
reality. Unfortunately, consumerism, as
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
pandemic disease, monopolizes all aspects of life, generating the need for technical and scientific skills the most. All in all, despite the vital role history plays, I share the opinion of those who support technical and scientific subjects
to place
Change the verb form
placed
show examples
at
Correct pronoun usage
them at
show examples
 top priority as the real world demands.
Submitted by mohsen.kakavandi2017 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: