IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Big salary is much more important than Job satisfaction . Do you agree or disagree? Provide relevant examples if necessary .

#salary #job #satisfaction
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It is often argued that Job salary is more advantageous
as
Change preposition
in
show examples
camparison
Correct your spelling
comparison
 to career satisfaction. Personally, I completely disagree with the given essay statement because
people
Use synonyms
 stay content and innovative when they are doing their
interested
Replace the word
interesting
show examples
 tasks. To commence, with the fact that when
people
Use synonyms
 are doing their appealing
work
Use synonyms
, they feel a sense of satisfaction
from
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in
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 their life. It means that they are highly interested in their
work
Use synonyms
 and do it
by
Change preposition
with
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 his/her heart without having any kind of stress on them.
Besides
Linking Words
, they give a hundred
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 focus on their responsibilities and gain confidence
while
Linking Words
 doing their duties.
The
Correct article usage
A
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common example is daycare teachers who feel a sense of giving when they are taking care of many children. Even they feel more satisfied by helping others to grow in their lives .
Therefore
Linking Words
, interested jobs provide happiness to several employees.
Similarly
Linking Words
, there is
a
Remove the article
apply
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some research
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
work
Use synonyms
 if individuals are doing it passionately. Many
people
Use synonyms
 find new strategies to do the
work
Use synonyms
 in a better way if they are serious about their passion .
Additionally
Linking Words
, they become innovative and do some new research in their
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
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 which even makes their task more fascinating.
one
Capitalize word
One
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 of the prominent examples is the police careers. Passionate police workers discover new methods to reduce crime every day and protect
people
Use synonyms
 against various crimes.
That is
Linking Words
 why , appealing tasks could lead
toward
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to
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useful future improvements. In conclusion , career satisfaction
bring
Change the verb form
brings
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joy and innovation
in
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into
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employess's
Change noun form
employees'
show examples
 lives and believe that it is productive than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
salary packages.
Submitted by bandhana322 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • remuneration
  • financial security
  • motivation
  • luxuries
  • material possessions
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • stress levels
  • mental well-being
  • job security
What to do next:
Look at other essays: