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Writing Samples
Band 4

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

#food #drink #products #levels #sugar #health #people
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Products
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 with high levels of
sugar
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 should be charged more to stop
people
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 from buying since they might lead to health issues. I reckon that
this
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 is a better approach to discourage
people
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 from consuming too much
sugar
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. To start with, sugary
products
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 should be sold at a higher
price
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 to lower the chances of purchase. When it comes to shopping, for most majority of
people
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,
price
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 is always our priority to take into consideration.
Therefore
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, by increasing the prices of
products
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 that contained
sugar
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,
people
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 may be less likely to buy them.
For instance
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, for the young generation, the higher prices of food and drink will discourage them to purchase them.
Thus
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, the way of increasing the
price
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 may lead to a change
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 customers'
sugar
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 intake from shopping.
On the other hand
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, some may dispute that it is unreasonable to higher the
price
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 of items that are
sugar
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 included.
However
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, I believe that paying attention to consumer health concerns is part of the responsibility of
business
Correct article usage
a business
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.
Moreover
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, companies should focus more on healthy
products
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 to enhance society's shopping habits which creates a win-win situation. In conclusion,
expensive
Add an article
the expensive
show examples
price
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 of those sugary
products
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 will encourage
people
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 to have less
sugar
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.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • sugary products
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • discourage
  • promote
  • healthier choices
  • reduce
  • increased taxes
  • fund
  • health education
  • prevention programs
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