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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Parents should encourage children to spend a list time in studies and more time in physics activities do you agree

In
this
Linking Words
 modern epoch, some masses proclaim that.
parents
Use synonyms
 should give information and encouragement to their offspring to spend their muchness time in do outdoor
activities
Use synonyms
 rather
Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
do
Wrong verb form
doing
show examples
 academic work. I have elaborate concur side in forthcoming paragraphs To comment with agreement side of
this
Linking Words
 phenomenally.
First
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 and foremost, students who are below 10 years, they do not have abilities for what think is good and wrong for them.
Additionally
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, including starting age of
children
Use synonyms
, they are mostly depending on their
parents
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. And
children
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 follow their
parents
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also
Linking Words
. So,
children
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 are becoming cause potatoes if their
parents
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 do not encourage them to spend quality time
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
doing outdoor
activities
Use synonyms
.And, it occurred many constitutions like, like effective on
children
Use synonyms
's minds and
also
Linking Words
 effective their nature and
also
Linking Words
children
Use synonyms
 can be
introvert
Replace the word
introverted
show examples
 for
whole
Correct pronoun usage
their whole
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life
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
Further more
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
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, only
do
Wrong verb form
doing
show examples
study
Use synonyms
 can be not beneficial for any
Use synonyms
children
Fix the agreement mistake
child
show examples
Add the comma(s)
, for instance,
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for instance
Linking Words
Use synonyms
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
children
Change to a singular noun
child
show examples
 who only concentrate in
Use synonyms
study
Add an article
the study
a study
show examples
 for
while
Correct your spelling
whole
show examples
 time. So, they cannot able to learn social skills and
not
Add a missing verb
are not
show examples
 able to brief knowledge about the world and other people's nature and it can
be take
Change the verb form
take
show examples
 many causes in
children
Use synonyms
's future
life
Use synonyms
. like,he or she could not able to communicate with
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
 and could not
sufficient
Change the word
sufficiently
show examples
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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make relationships with other
Secondly
Linking Words
, not only studying but
also
Linking Words
goods
Correct article usage
a goods
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 physical body is important for living
Correct article usage
a goods
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goods
Change the noun form
good
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life
Use synonyms
.
One
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 other
word
Fix the agreement mistake
words
show examples
, sitting in
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
one
Use synonyms
 place for the long term causes many diseases like obesity and diabetes. And, by doing physical
children
Use synonyms
 can able to live
life
Use synonyms
 with the out any physical issues.
For example
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
children
Change to a singular noun
child
show examples
 who
doing
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
 bought
study
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 and Outer
activities
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, he or
she
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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cannot only overcome
this
Linking Words
 stress related
Change preposition
to theirs
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theirs
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 studying but
also
Linking Words
 build their strong
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
show examples
 through some outdoor
activities
Use synonyms
. For
exampal
Correct your spelling
example
.swimming cycling and many other games. In conclusion, I fully support the view that
children
Use synonyms
 should be encouraged by their
parents
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for
Change preposition
to
show examples
Use synonyms
children's
Change noun form
children
show examples
 good body strength and good
life
Use synonyms
 in childhood without any tension of
study
Use synonyms

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