IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Adults do less exercise nowadays. Some think that people can be encouraged to live healthy through sporting events such as Olympics or World Cup. Others think that there are more better ways to encourage adults for exercise. Discuss both views and state you opinion.

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Some people argue that sports can push the public to exercise while others say that we can use better ways to encourage adults to train. In my , the opinion would cup is not the best way. On the one hand, play can encourage the crowd to exercise and be in shape. Research shows that humans need the motivation to do unpleasant activities.
Hence
, the presence of sports is a good motivation.
For example
, annually we can see a huge number of athletes that are in shape and ready for a challenge. ultimately sports are a remedy to cope with unhealthy lifestyles.
On the other hand
, some communities think that other encourage are better.
For example
, Governments can provide some facilities for whom do exercise. It includes a free pool ticket or consider the budget for the tutor. So, these ways lead to a healthy society. In conclusion, the Olympics are not practical ways to have healthy adults, because these plays have a limited budget and need a few selected athletes.
Submitted by mahtamoradan on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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