IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Some people think visitors to others countries should imitate local customers and behaviours. Some people disagree; they think the host country should welcome cultural differences. Discuss the two views and give your opinion.

#people #visitors #countries #customers #behaviours #host #country #differences #two
Tourists
 help the GDP of
communities
. Many
communities
 want
tourists
 to come and explore their cultures and heritage. I believe
tourists
 should imitate
locals
' behaviours while some will argue that the host country should welcome cultural
differences
.
Tourists
 always bring diversity with them. We should appreciate that but
communities
 with high culture dependent want tourist should follow their instructions to avoid damaging social sentiments.
For example
,
communities
 like India, treat
tourists
 as a god in their culture, but they
also
 want
tourists
 to imitate
locals
. As in our,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
culture
Add a comma
,culture
show examples
 we follow some instructions to praise god-like wearing fully covered clothes etc. we want
tourists
 to
also
 follow the same to avoid the social sentiments of
locals
.
Although
 some argue that host
communities
 should welcome cultural
differences
.
For example
, In developed
communities
 like America and Japan, People are secular, they loved people from different religions and admire them. These
communities
 welcome cultural
differences
. In conclusion, Developed
communities
 usually welcome cultural
differences
, but I strongly believe that in developing
communities
,
tourists
 should imitate
locals
 in the host country .In developing
communities
, we can be aware people of cultural
differences
 .So that we all can live happily like brothers and sisters
Submitted by pratiksingh432 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: