These days, more and more people move away from the area where they were born and brought up when they become adults. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays, many
people
, when they turn into grown up, they choose to settle far away from the
area
they are born and raised in. I believe that the benefits of
this
development outweigh the drawbacks. These days, it is very common for an adult to shift from their
home
town, for there are many advantages to
this
reason.
Firstly
, they become more mature and have a better social life. When an individual moves into a new place, they become more responsible, as they have to do everything by themselves without depending on anyone else.
Moreover
, they try to have friends among work colleagues and
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
.
In addition
, they built a life from scratch,
were
Correct your spelling
where
show examples
they will be learning about different elements to have a better lifestyle.
For example
, an adult fresher will know about saving money for rent and other bills , doing taxes, and important documentation works.
Also
, when they shift to a new house, they will have to buy every essential
utensils
Change to a singular noun
utensil
show examples
and basic necessities for living.
However
, there are
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
disadvantages. Many
people
might be unfamiliar with the new locations and rules of that particular
area
and they could face
home sickness
Correct your spelling
homesickness
show examples
.
This
could be hard for some
people
as they are more comfortable with
their
Change the pronoun
the
show examples
home
area
that they are born in.
In addition
, they can face difficulty
to interact
Change the verb form
interacting
show examples
with
people
living near their house. Especially, if they need any help with community services. All that said, these are just some starting troubles. To conclude, I find there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
more pros than cons to
this
advancement. It is always better to stay away from
home
area
, as it could develop a person's lifestyle and social life.
Also
, most
people
wants
Change the verb form
want
show examples
to seek
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
better job prospects where ever they go.
Submitted by sandravaidz00 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • metropolitan
  • migration
  • globalization
  • socio-economic factors
  • traditional norms
  • cosmopolitan environment
  • brain drain
  • assimilation
  • gentrification
  • alienation
  • multiculturalism
  • infrastructure strain
What to do next:
Look at other essays: