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Writing Samples
Band 5

Fewer and fewer people want to become teachers especially in secondary schools. Why this happening and what can be done to tackle this problem?

#people #teachers #schools
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It is argued that the number of
people
Use synonyms
 who choose
teaching
Change the verb form
to teach
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 as their occupation is decreasing due to a number of reasons and the government can take various actions in order to solve the problem.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
as a result
Linking Words
 of the development of the technology and existence of social
media
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,media
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 it became difficult for younger and older to understand each other Because the gaps between
perspectives
Correct article usage
the perspectives
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 of previous and new generations
is
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are
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 growing since the Youngs have more access to the internet and different narratives than what adults have been exposed to.
Therefor
Correct your spelling
Therefore
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, therefor the two different age
group
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groups
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 adapted to lifestyles which are not the same and it makes it difficult to communicate or understand each other which may lead
into
Change preposition
to
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 turning teaching into a more demanding job.
For instance
Linking Words
, schoolchildren and teenagers learned from
the
Correct article usage
apply
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social media that it is important to show disagreement if they do not find an idea rational, while teachers might find it disrespectful.
In
Linking Words
contrast
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,contrast
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 the government can offer higher payments to
people
Use synonyms
 who work as a teacher in order to increase their job satisfaction and encourage
people
Use synonyms
 to teach at schools since
high income
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high-income
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 jobs tend to be more popular among
people
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.
For example
Linking Words
, in Germany, after
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
world war 2 federal authorities increased the payment of
people
Use synonyms
 who were teaching so they will not face any
problem
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problems
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 in terms of education. In conclusion, I would say that the lack of understanding because of
increasing
Add an article
the increasing
an increasing
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 gap between
perspectives
Correct article usage
the perspectives
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 of
Correct article usage
the two
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two generation
Add a hyphen
two-generation
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 has made teaching a demanding job and
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 can address the problem of
decline
Correct article usage
a decline
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 in the number of teachers by
baying
Correct your spelling
paying
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 them more
wage
Fix the agreement mistake
wages
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.
Submitted by mahla.mirzaei on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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