IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

More and more families are choosing fast food over home-cooked meals. What are the reasons for this and how can they be addressed?

#families #food #meals
Nowadays,
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
plenty of families are choosing delivery
food
 over homemade
food
. Because
people
 are lazy to
cook
 and we can solve
this
problem
 with cutting-edge technology.
This
 essay will examine the reasons for
this
problem
 and provide solutions to
this
problem
.
First
 of all, ordering fast
food
 has become much easier now since
people
 can just choose the
food
 and order it through different applications.
Therefore
, more and more families begin to use
this
 convenient option.
Moreover
,
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 some
people
Add a comma
,people
show examples
 it can be difficult to
cook
 something or they just get lazy.
Secondly
, a multitude of
people
 has
busy
Add an article
a busy
show examples
 schedule. They can have full-time work,
hence
 it is hard to find time for cooking. So, it is comfortable to order custom
food
 for these
people
.
Furthermore
,
people
 can eat everything
what
Change the word
that
show examples
 they want and just enjoy it.
However
, junk
food
 has bad effects
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
people
 since due to fast
food
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can
be happen
Change the verb form
happen
show examples
 a lot of health problems and
also
 obesity.
Nevertheless
, we can solve
this
problem
 with 2 main approaches.
Firstly
, there are many new technologies which can be useful for
people
 who cannot
cook
.
For instance
, there is
helpful
Add an article
a helpful
show examples
 thing named multicooker. Due to
this
 high
technology
Add a comma
,technology
show examples
people
 can just put different ingredients into
this
 multicooker and
this
 modern technology will
cook
food
.
Therefore
, they do not need a spend a lot of time
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
cooking.
Secondly
, we should
illutrate
Correct your spelling
illustrate
 them their expenses to fast
food
. Because they spend a lot of money to fast
food
 even do not realise it In conclusion, we have a few reasons why more and more families choose fast
food
 over homemade
food
.
However
, we can solve
this
problem
plese
Correct your spelling
please
 to
these
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 methods indicated in the essay
Submitted by Allazhar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • On-the-go lifestyle
  • Nutritional value
  • Home-cooked
  • Health consequences
  • Obesity epidemic
  • Meal prep
  • Time management
  • Culinary skills
  • Processed foods
  • Dietary habits
  • Food marketing
  • Value meals
  • Economic factors
  • Lifestyle diseases
  • Cultural shifts
What to do next:
Look at other essays: