Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people if different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

Music
has been with humans
from
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for
show examples
long
times
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time
show examples
. It has been helping us in many ways. Most
of
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apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
believes
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believe
show examples
that it has
very
Correct article usage
a very
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important role
bringing
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in bringing
show examples
different cultures and various ages together. While others
says
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say
show examples
that it's just a form of art and totally disagree with their opposition
side
. In
following
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the following
show examples
paragraph I
putting
Wrong verb form
put
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both
sides
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side's
sides'
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argument
Fix the agreement mistake
arguments
show examples
as well as my views. The one
side
of the group who agree with
above
Correct article usage
the above
show examples
statement gives several points in favour of it. They
sees
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see
show examples
music
as vital art for sharing different thoughts from
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
community.
This
side
Correct your spelling
site
show examples
furthermore
,
add
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adds
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some recent instances like
,
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apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Korean
music
which is been on the boom
from
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for
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last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
4-5 years giving us
better
Add an article
a better
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understanding of their lives from various songs. They put
point
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the point
show examples
that
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out that
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,
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apply
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without
music
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,music
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they never would have been familiar with Korean living.
This
group
also
says
a good
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good music
a piece of good music
show examples
music
has no age limits and it is making bound with older
people
by listening
retro
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to retro
show examples
music
appritiating
Correct your spelling
appreciating
their time of songs. Sames stands
old
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for old
show examples
individuals according to them. Whereas,
on the other
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
the opposing group totally disagree with them.
This
Change the determiner
These
show examples
people
have
strong
Add an article
a strong
show examples
mind for
music
saying it
just
Add a missing verb
is just
show examples
a form of art. Which
for
Add a missing verb
is for
show examples
human enjoyment and it has no
contrubution
Correct your spelling
contribution
bringing
people
together. They
states
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state
show examples
it
the
Add a missing verb
is the
show examples
people
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people's
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curiosities
in
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of
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other cultures
that is
making the companion with each other. By adding more
in
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to
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it
this folks
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this folk
these folks
show examples
states
people
are enough grown and
understands
Correct subject-verb agreement
understand
show examples
, they should be together and move forward. At the
last
, in my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
music
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
played
very
Add an article
a very
show examples
crucial role in human history, and understanding
with
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apply
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each other in different aspects. I am totally in favour
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
first
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the first
show examples
side
and still believe it
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
use
mor
Correct your spelling
more
closer to
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
culture.
People
will make great
advancement
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advancements
show examples
in the
music
industry and make other
community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
show examples
understandable with the help of it.
Submitted by Chetan on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
What to do next:
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