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Band 5.5

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicls will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweight the disadvantages?

#future #cars #buses #trucks #driverless #people #vehicls #passengers #vehicles #outweight
Nowadays, There is a serious debate on
driverless
 cars, and these vehicles will move passengers without any driver. At the same time, there are some drawbacks associated with
driverless
 machines. I believe the main benefits are more substantial. On the one hand, a potential disadvantage of
this
 type of car is that it can cause an increase in the number of unemployed.
In other words
, people can lose their jobs,
such
 as public transport
driver
Fix the agreement mistake
drivers
show examples
.
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
 individuals can become too reliant on technology. In my personal
experince
Correct your spelling
experience
, one of my
friend
Change to a plural noun
friends
show examples
 use computer
algoritms
Correct your spelling
algorithms
 to do their job and after
year
Correct article usage
a year
show examples
, once her system had a technical problem she does not even remember her task
how
Correct word choice
and how
show examples
 can do it.
On the other hand
, a primary benefit
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
driverless
 car is
robats
Correct your spelling
robots
 do not have
emotion
Fix the agreement mistake
emotions
show examples
.
Although
, they can not impress by human behaviour
so
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they do not make mistakes. And
also
these kind
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
show examples
 of cars can reduce the number of
Add an article
an accident
the accident
show examples
accident
Fix the agreement mistake
accidents
show examples
where
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 happened by human error
such
 as bad habit driver and
careless
Replace the word
carelessness
show examples
.
Thus
, they can drive better than humans even in bad
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
 like as bad weather and bad
visible
Replace the word
visibility
show examples
.
In addition
, using
driverless
 public transport can reduce the cost
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 governments.
Moreover
, can enhance
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
. On balance, It is true
driverless
 vehicles would seem disadvantageous under certain circumstances.
However
, I believe the positive effects in terms of automation can decrease human errors and can develop
Add an article
the condition
a condition
show examples
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
 of driving and
also
 can lead to
develop
Change the verb form
developing
show examples
 the public transport and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
governments can save more money through using
driverless
trasports
Correct your spelling
transports
transport
.
Submitted by melika.verdi on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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