Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

#food #drink #products #levels #sugar #health #people

Perhaps the idea of in

this

modern era a lot of manufactured meal and drink products contain high levels of sugar which

causes

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cause

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many health issues.Sugary goods should be more

coslty

Correct your spelling

costly

to encourage humans to consume less

this

item.Many people

holding

Wrong verb form

hold

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different beliefs

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about

show examples

it.

Personally

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,Personally

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I definitely with the

above expressed

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above-expressed

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statement and there are many compelling reasons to support my view.In

this

following essay, I intend two reasons

Change preposition

for

show examples

this

First

and foremost,one of the main advantages is that if some companies made more expensive sugary goods.Many humans

Fix the infinitive

apply

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consume less

this

Change preposition

of this

show examples

type of

products

Fix the agreement mistake

product

show examples

,because if we consume sugar a lot,we face-to-face some problems belong to our health.They are very harmful

for

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show examples

us.

For instance

,if we consume sugary meals or drinks,it causes outweigh.Especially,

this

is too harmful

for

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show examples

our

body

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bodies

show examples

In addition

,sweets are

enemy

Correct article usage

the enemy

show examples

for

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our teeth.

On the other hand

,there are some drawbacks.

That is

to say,if sweets are essential for us,we can not buy them,because they are very expensive.Yet,they are too necessary for like birthday parties.

That is

why

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apply

show examples

some parents worry about it.

This

is the reason,all humans

not

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are not

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rich.

That is

say

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,say

show examples

they

have

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do have

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not enough money to buy them for some special occasions.

Moreover

,some people need to sweety things for their health. By way of my conclusion,sugar need for all things.

However

,there are a lot of drawbacks.For

this

reason,I once again reaffirm my position,it is

undoubtly

Correct your spelling

undoubtedly

true that

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apply

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we do not frequently use

this

kind of

things

Fix the agreement mistake

thing

show examples

Submitted by asqar4997 on Mon Jan 23 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

234 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

health problems
manufactured food and drink products
sugary products
excessive sugar consumption
discourage
promote
healthier choices
reduce
increased taxes
fund
health education
prevention programs

What to do next:

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Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In many countries, more and more people choose to buy imported food raher than food produced locally. Why do people buy imported food? What could be done to encourage people to buy local food.

some people think the Olympic Games are an existing event that can bring nations together. Others think it’s a waste of money. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that qualities a person needs to become succesfull in today's world cannot be learned at university or similar academic institution. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Eating too much sugar is harmful for health. Some people think that it is government responsibility to limit people’s sugar consumption, while others think that it is individual responsibility to limit the amount of sugar they eat. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some old people today struggle with the use of modern techonologies such as smartphones and computers. What is the cause of this? What are some possible solutions?