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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The behavior of students in class is becoming worse and worse.. What are the causes of this? What solutions can be offered?

Nowadays,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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student’s
behavior
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behaviour
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 is much worse than before. I believe
parent’s
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parents’
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education
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 and the negative of social media are the main causes and
parents
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, schools and the government need to work collaboratively to tackle the issue. The bad information online and lacking
education
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 from
parents
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 trigger the bad
behaviour
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 of
students
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. With
the
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technology development, children and teenagers can access much information through the internet, including crime and other bad
behaviour
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. Juveniles do not have the ability to distinguish the right
behaviour
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 from the wrong
behaviour
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 on their own, which leads to they could imminent
the
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improper
behaviour
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.
What’s
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What’re
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 more, more and more
parents
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 spend too much time and energy in the workplace. The lack of
education
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also
Linking Words
lead
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leads
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 to
the
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an
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 increase
of
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in
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 the number of
students
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 with bad
behavior
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behaviour
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. The only way to address
this
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 problem is for
parents
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,schools and governments to take some responsibility for the issue. In terms of
parents
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, they need to involve in the whole
education
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 process, which will help the
students
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 to receive the guide and help them understand the rules better.
Secondly
Linking Words
, schools need to educate the
students
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 about what they are supposed to do.
This
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 solution could be the most efficient one because
this
Linking Words
 solution could be relatively easy and free.
Thirdly
Linking Words
, the government may be able to limit the
the
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behaviour
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 of teenagers and children on the internet, which could reduce the negative impact
for
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on
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students
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. In conclusion, the
parents
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’ involvement, school
education
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, and government regulations are important to solve
this
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 problem.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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