IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

some people think that giving gifts and presents to friends and family is important to show them that we care. Others think that there are better ways to show affection to them. Discuss both the views and give your own opinion?

#people #gifts #friends #show #care #affection
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is no doubt nowadays giving
gifts
Use synonyms
between
Change preposition
to
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 is a common thing in our societies. The question is, is giving
gifts
Use synonyms
 to
friends
Use synonyms
 and family
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
essential to appear our
care
Use synonyms
 for them or there are many ways to show that
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
 In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I am going to discuss both views and draw my own conclusion. In terms of causes, some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that the only
way
Use synonyms
 to express
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
love or
care
Use synonyms
 for anyone is
giving
Change preposition
by giving
show examples
gifts
Use synonyms
 to them. The main reason giving to support
this
Linking Words
 claim is that the capability to buy
gifts
Use synonyms
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
makes
people
Use synonyms
giving
Wrong verb form
give
show examples
 presents
between
Change preposition
to
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
. To illustrate, it is not necessary
purchase
Add the particle
to purchase
show examples
 expensive
gifts
Use synonyms
 for your friend or family, to express
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
your
care
Use synonyms
 towards them. The value of
gifts
Use synonyms
 should be moral and not material. So, the majority of
people
Use synonyms
 choose
this
Linking Words
way
Use synonyms
 because it is considered
easier
Correct article usage
an easier
show examples
way
Use synonyms
 and depends on
level
Add an article
the level
show examples
 of income individual.
However
Linking Words
, other
people
Use synonyms
 believe that there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
better
Add an article
a better
the better
show examples
Use synonyms
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
 to show them what we
care
Use synonyms
.
Change preposition
about.
show examples
Firstly
Linking Words
, spending enjoyable time with
friends
Use synonyms
 or family
that is
Linking Words
 meaning of love and
care
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, buying expensive
gifts
Use synonyms
 that maybe appear
discriminate
Fix the infinitive
to discriminate
show examples
 between
friends
Use synonyms
 and members of
family
Add an article
the family
a family
show examples
.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
hang
Wrong verb form
hanging
show examples
 out,
go
Wrong verb form
going
show examples
 shopping and giving a cinema ticket
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 who
care
Use synonyms
 about them, it maybe
be
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 more expression
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
meaning
Add an article
the meaning
show examples
 of
care
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, in my opinion, there is no specific
way
Use synonyms
 to show that
care
Use synonyms
 towards
friends
Use synonyms
 or family. Everyone can choose the
way
Use synonyms
 which
convenient
Add a missing verb
is convenient
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 them whether by giving
gifts
Use synonyms
 or the other ways which we mentioned above.
Submitted by Sara83383 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: