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Writing Samples
Band 4

one of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. do you thing the advantages of this development woutweight the disadvantage?

#consequences #care #people #life #expectancy #development #woutweight
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In
this
Linking Words
 modern era,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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life expectancy
bcome
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become
becomes
 longer
beacuse
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because
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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medical
improved
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improvement
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, which permits
to
Correct pronoun usage
one to
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 live a normal life even if some type of
patologies
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pathologies
as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
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 diabetes or asthma. In fact, the benefits of
this
Linking Words
 big development in medical knowladagement provide specific medicine that a person can take
dayly
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daily
 to
contrart
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contract
contrast
 his
patologies
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pathologies
 even if he or she can not really heal from it. To illustrate, in the case of people with
sesonal
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seasonal
 allergies, they can take some particular strong
drugs
Use synonyms
 for a long period of time to continue all the activities that they normally do as work, study or play
sport
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sports
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.
On the other hand
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, it is true that a downside of
this
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 big choice of
drugs
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 can create problems
such
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 as addiction or abuse. In response to it, the
governament
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government
 create a law by which the strongest
drugs
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 can be given
also
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 after a doctor's prescription with the precise quantity needed by the patient. In spite
of
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thisof
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,
evry
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every
subjet
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subject
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 should be
resoponsable
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responsible
 and use the medicine only if
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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necessary. In
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addition
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addiction
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addition
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, we must remember that our grandparents, in the past years when they
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were
wew
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were
 young, the
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probability
probablility
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probability
 to die for
cold
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a cold
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 or flu was so high
while
Linking Words
 nowadays is almost impossible and only thak to all medical research and discovers, In summary,
medicine
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medical
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 development permit
that
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apply
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a lot of people
live
Fix the infinitive
to live
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 a normal life and
that
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apply
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a lot of
sickness
Change to a plural noun
sicknesses
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 can be
Add an article
a cure
the cure
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cure
Wrong verb form
cured
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 or
alleviate
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alleviated
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 with
a
Correct article usage
the
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 right use
od
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
drugs
Use synonyms
 which must
be control
Change the verb form
be controlled
show examples
 and
select
Wrong verb form
selected
show examples
 by doctors.
Submitted by miryam.i.dedea on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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