IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Money spent on space exploration is a complete waste. Governments could better spend this money money on other things to benefit the nation . To what extent do you agree or disagree

#money #space #exploration #waste #governments #benefit #nation
Space
 exploration is
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 exciting activity among powerful
countires
Correct your spelling
countries
. Spending money on exploring
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
space
 would be worthless and it had better use for the country's benefit. In my opinion, I quite disagree that it is a total waste
money
Change preposition
of money
show examples
 for
space
mission
Fix the agreement mistake
missions
show examples
 because it would lead to
figure
Wrong verb form
figuring
show examples
 out how the universe works and
develop
Wrong verb form
developing
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
future technology for
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
.
To explore
Change the verb form
Exploring
show examples
 the
Earth
 outside,
It
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
requires a large budget for the exploration. The outside world is completely different from the
earth
 because it does not have oxygen for life. It needs to have
support
Correct article usage
a support
show examples
 machine to produce the gas for breathing.
In addition
, The radiation would
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
affect directly to the pilot's body and would be
harm
Replace the word
harmful
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
skin
Correct article usage
the skin
show examples
 and metabolism.
Therefore
, it requires
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 specific suit for the
space
 team.
Moreover
, not just the rocket but
supportive
Correct article usage
the supportive
show examples
 machine that the government is to invest in is very expensive. These costs are reasonable for the
space
 activity. The many advantages of the mission beyond the
Earth
 are worth it
to spend on
Change the verb form
spending
show examples
. Nowadays,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
scientist is likely to precisely predict the weather because the
statellites
Correct your spelling
satellites
,
for instance
, around the world collect
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
weather data continuously and send
to
Correct pronoun usage
it to
show examples
 the
earth
 .
This
 technology is
achevement
Correct your spelling
achievement
 because of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
space
techonology
Correct your spelling
technology
. The
space
 station
also
use
Change the verb form
uses
show examples
 solar light to
procuce
Correct your spelling
produce
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
power
by
Change preposition
from
show examples
 solar cell. It would reduce the cost
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 fuel and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
energy production. In conclusion, The budget
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
space
 exploration is essential for people and
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 in the future. All countries would like to invest in renewable energy and find a solution for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
climate change. That's why the outside
Earth
 would be
opportunity
Add an article
an opportunity
the opportunity
show examples
 to be the
next
 step for
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
.
Submitted by deksuan132 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • complete waste
  • benefit the nation
  • technological advancements
  • foster
  • international cooperation
  • inspire
  • engage
  • boost the economy
  • long-term benefits
What to do next:
Look at other essays: