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Band 5

It is important for people to take risks, both in their personal lives and professional lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risk outweigh the disadvantages

#people #risks #lives #risk
These days, expecting a great life without taking
risks
 is very difficult. But what is the most effective method for dealing with hard situations
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
 Some
people
 believe that taking
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
 necessary for both personal and corporate lives . I completely agree and in
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will support my opinion with examples.
Firstly
, it gives a specific target to achieve something.
For example
, taking
risks
 can be on anything
such
 as promotion in
company
Correct article usage
a company
show examples
, getting better
facilites
Correct your spelling
facilities
, taking
dangarous
Correct your spelling
dangerous
 challenges for
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
 life. If anyone takes
Correct article usage
a hazards
show examples
hazards
Replace the word
hazardous
show examples
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
 to get something,
then
 there is a possibility to the outcome can be paid
of
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off
show examples
. Another reason why
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 agree with taking
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
 is advantages because taking several time
risks
 can give a lot of chances to get
a accurate knowledge
Remove the article
accurate knowledge
a piece of accurate knowledge
show examples
 about the
important
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importance
show examples
 of success.
For instance
,
people
don't
Correct pronoun usage
who don't
show examples
 progress at once need to try many times. In
this
way
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,way
show examples
 he gets the true meaning about
become
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becoming
show examples
 a
success
Replace the word
successful
show examples
 man. I strongly believe that it gives reason
anybody
Change preposition
to anybody
show examples
 to live. But what is
more
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,more
show examples
 need to take it
serious
Replace the word
seriously
show examples
.
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?
show examples
On the other hand
, there are some chances to get lose
massive
Add an article
a massive
show examples
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
 of money by taking
risks
. To be more precise,
people
 don't know which
risks
 have the possibility
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 get success.
As a result
,
people
 may get depressed or
commiting
Correct your spelling
committing
 suicide by involving money in those
haphazars
Correct your spelling
haphazard
. In conclusion,
although
 it
is often believe
Change the verb form
is often believed
show examples
 that to live a good life,
people
needs
Change the verb form
need
show examples
 to spend their time to attach with the
risks
. Personally , I think that in
this
 way everyone will get be taken knowledge for the situations they take.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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