Some people believe that it is important to spend a lot of money on family celebrations. While others think it is a waste of money. Discuss both views.

#people #money #celebrations #waste

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

There is an opinion,that it is worth a significant proportion of

family's

Correct article usage

the family's

show examples

budget for

celebrations

Use synonyms

Change the punctuation

apply

show examples

Linking Words

however

Add the comma(s)

,however

show examples

there is an opponent's point of view,that it is a squander.I am inclined to agree with the first statement, as

while

Linking Words

gathering all together on holidays people create warmhearted memories ,which stay with them forever. Festival time is considered to be the most money-consuming one. It might appear to be astronomically expensive to organise Christmas or birthdays with relatives.

However

Linking Words

, these holidays are the best opportunities to have meals with family members, spend time together and strengthen relationships, as during the year it might be inconvenient for everybody, especially if everyone lives far from each other.

Moreover

Linking Words

, it is vitally important for children to meet other relatives, which creates

the

Correct article usage

show examples

feeling of unity,love and support.

For instance

Linking Words

,there was a survey conducted in Ukrainian universities among students, which demonstrated,that the best memories from childhood were connected with family

celebrations

Use synonyms

On the other hand

Linking Words

,for some categories of ,society it might appear to be an arduous task to make a whole family meal, as their income is not enough to do it.

Therefore

Linking Words

, it is more necessary for them to pay bills and medical insurance,rather than waste money on

celebrations

Use synonyms

.Though, others,who could afford

such

Linking Words

expenses, sometimes avoid family

celebrations

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

negatively affects their relationships with relatives and friends.

To sum up

Linking Words

all of the above, it is crucially important to have family

celebrations

Use synonyms

,as it is a way to improve and build up family connections and I completely agree with

this

Linking Words

point of view,

Change the punctuation

apply

show examples

Linking Words

however

Add the comma(s)

,however

show examples

it should not create a burden or pressure on those,who cannot afford it.

Submitted by annaosmatesko on Tue Jan 24 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

268 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

cherish
nurture
strengthen
bond
create memories
enjoyment
sense of belonging
reconnect
unite
traditions
create traditions
financial burden
priorities
moderation
budget
frugal
extravagant

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Shops should not be allowed to sell food and drinks tha are scientifically proven to be bad for people's health. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, there are many products that unhealthy effects on people as proven by scientists. That's a reason for some people's requirement to avoid selling such products and drinks. I can't say that I have the unambiguous solution for this extension, but I am convinced that every stick has two ends. First and foremost, we have many examples from the world history of such bans. For instance, the dry law in the US in the 30th years of the 20th century, or the same law in the USSR in the 80th. The result of such laws were appearance of illegal alcoholic drinks, sometimes they were poisoned, and people died or became handicapped after they had drunk them. It's always the question of supply and demand. Moreover, from these examples, we can study that direct avoidance can have the opposite effect on people.
5
band
some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money others argue that it is better to try and improve such situation discuss both views and give your own opinion
The rasio of unemployment is high. The uneducated people face a lot of problems and upcoming poor situations. on the other hand, Well-educated people live luxury lives.Both situations and my opinion will be discussed in this essay.
5.5
band
Some people believe that when deciding how taxpayers' money is spent, governments should prioritise health care, while others believe that there are other priorities to spend this money.Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
When determining how taxpayers' money should be allocated, governments face the crucial task of prioritizing sectors that will most effectively contribute to the well-being and development of their nations. The debate often centers around whether health care should take precedence over other areas of spending, such as education, infrastructure, or defense. Both perspectives hold valid arguments, and the ideal approach may lie in finding a balanced allocation that addresses immediate needs while also investing in long-term national growth.
6
band
In many developing countries, there is an increasing movement of workers from rural areas into cities. Why do you think this happen? What problems can this cause.
In this day and age, there is a vast expanse of the consumption of sweetened goods, which is known as a prominent element resulting in a number of related issues. I do believe that raising the price of this kind of product is considered a noticeable solution to have this tendency restrained. This essay will analyze and discuss the divergent reasons along with my own perspective.
5
band
Some people think that keeping pets is good for children while others think it is dangerous and unhealthy. Which opinion do you agree with? Discuss both options and give examples.
Nowadays every home has at least one pet. It argues that having pets at home is beneficial for kids. While others think that, it is harmful and not a healthy option. I agree that keeping pets is unhealthy and it causes many problems to kids. This essay will discuss both these views and explain my opinions in the ensuing paragraphs.

Some people believe that it is important to spend a lot of money on family celebrations. While others think it is a waste of money. Discuss both views.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Shops should not be allowed to sell food and drinks tha are scientifically proven to be bad for people's health. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money others argue that it is better to try and improve such situation discuss both views and give your own opinion

Some people believe that when deciding how taxpayers' money is spent, governments should prioritise health care, while others believe that there are other priorities to spend this money.Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In many developing countries, there is an increasing movement of workers from rural areas into cities. Why do you think this happen? What problems can this cause.

Some people think that keeping pets is good for children while others think it is dangerous and unhealthy. Which opinion do you agree with? Discuss both options and give examples.