IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people say that when deciding how taxes should by spent, the government should prioritize health care. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #taxes #government #prioritize #health #care
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Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
health
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
 should be
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
 one
sector
Use synonyms
 that
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
Use synonyms
support
Correct subject-verb agreement
supports
show examples
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
 tax spent, in
this
Linking Words
 essay I will elaborate,
how
Change preposition
on how
show examples
 I
support
Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
 statement and disagree.  To
began
Change the form of the verb
begin
show examples
 with,
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should
be prioritize
Change the verb form
prioritize
show examples
health
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
 because it is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 vital
sector
Use synonyms
 in every
country
Use synonyms
. If
people
Use synonyms
 have a
healty
Correct your spelling
healthy
 body, they can do anything from studying
untill
Correct your spelling
until
 working.
However
Linking Words
, if something bad
happen
Change the verb form
happens
show examples
 like pandemic COVID 19, the other
sector
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 to be
paralyze
Wrong verb form
paralysed
show examples
.
People
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 can not
doing
Change the verb form
do
be doing
show examples
 anything when the
government
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applied
Wrong verb form
applies
show examples
 lockdown, and it
is required
Wrong verb form
requires
show examples
 a lot of money to
support
Use synonyms
 it.
Second,
Linking Words
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
Linking Words
also
Add a missing verb
is also
show examples
 responsible
to provide
Change preposition
for providing
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
hospital
Fix the agreement mistake
hospitals
show examples
 with high technology
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
, and as we know they are very expensive.
For instance
Linking Words
, CT-scan
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
 and patient's
bed
Fix the agreement mistake
beds
show examples
 with many
fiture
Correct your spelling
features
future
 are the most
expensive's
Change noun form
expensive
show examples
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
 that
hospital
Fix the agreement mistake
hospitals
show examples
 need. 
However
Linking Words
,
other
Change the wording
another sector
other sectors
show examples
sector
Use synonyms
Linking Words
also
Add a missing verb
are also
show examples
substantial
Change the word
substantially
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
support
Use synonyms
 by
tax
Add an article
the tax
show examples
. First is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education.
Use synonyms
Government
Correct article usage
The government
show examples
 should focus
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
Linking Words
sector
Use synonyms
 to prepare
young
Add an article
the young
show examples
 generation to become future
leader
Fix the agreement mistake
leaders
show examples
 by
provide
Change the verb form
providing
show examples
 basic education for free, so that anyone,
include
Wrong verb form
including
show examples
 poor
peolpe
Correct your spelling
people
, can be smart. And
also
Linking Words
 by providing
scholarship
Fix the agreement mistake
scholarships
show examples
 for students who have outstanding academic
score
Fix the agreement mistake
scores
show examples
 so that they could
achive
Correct your spelling
achieve
 their dream and contribute more to their
country
Use synonyms
.
Next,
Linking Words
the infrastructure
sector
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 might
as
Add a missing verb
be as
show examples
 important as
health
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
. As we know
people
Use synonyms
 can run everyday life because of good infrastructure
provide
Change the form of the verb
provided
show examples
 by
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
. It
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
also
Linking Words
Use synonyms
support
Correct subject-verb agreement
supports
show examples
 the
country
Use synonyms
to run
Change preposition
in running
show examples
 the trading
sector
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as road to harbour or bridge from one island to another. When the catastrophe
happen
Wrong verb form
happened
show examples
, it
also
Linking Words
 required a lot of money from
tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
show examples
 to build the
country
Use synonyms
 as it
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 before. 
To sum up
Linking Words
, I agree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the statement,
the
Correct determiner usage
that
show examples
health
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
 is the most important
sector
Use synonyms
 because if
people
Use synonyms
Add a missing verb
are healty
show examples
healty
Correct your spelling
healthy
 they
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
 do anything and run their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
,
also
Linking Words
 the
health
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 expensive.
Submitted by emailduringexcersice on

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task response
The essay addresses both sides of the argument but could benefit from a clearer stance. Make sure to clearly state your position in the introduction and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. Try to improve the organization and transitions between paragraphs for better coherence and cohesion.
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