IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Today, more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficlult, such as the Sahara Desert or the Antartica. What are benefits or disadvantages for tourists visiting such places?

#tourists #places #conditions #difficlult #sahara #desert #antartica
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In the contemporary era, there is
rise
Add an article
a rise
the rise
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 in travellers who travel to pristine destinations,
such
Linking Words
 as
Sahara
Correct article usage
the Sahara
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 Desert or
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Antartica
Correct your spelling
Antarctica
. The essay shall depict that one of the merits is
to embrace
Change the verb form
embracing
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 natural landscapes, and one of the drawbacks is to lack
of
Remove the preposition
apply
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civilization. The main advantage is that tourists are
enable
Correct your spelling
unable
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 to appreciate the beauty of nature. In the same way, most of these places do not
over establish
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over-establish
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 the number of facilities or amusement parks to attract foreigners.
Hence
Linking Words
, overseas people can immerse in the mountainous area or
wildness
Replace the word
wild
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 ocean to appreciate its scenery. As an illustration,
Hawalii
Correct your spelling
Hawaii
 has
the
Correct article usage
a
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 well-known oceanic view and volcanic
extraodinary
Correct your spelling
extraordinary
 sight, which contributes to more than ten thousand
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Canadians to stay vacation there.
As a result
Linking Words
, some crowds are willing to experience
original
Correct article usage
the original
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 environment to relax their minds and physical bodies. Inconvenient daily activities are
the
Correct article usage
a
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 vital demerit in
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
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 undeveloped countries.
That is
Linking Words
 to say, the general public has already accustomed to
have
Change the verb form
having
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 a quick way to do grocery shopping or go
dinning
Correct your spelling
dining
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 out, but they are difficult to search for supermarkets or street
venders
Correct your spelling
vendors
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 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
proximity distance in these primitive locations. To point out, it is barely possible to have a convenience store in the village of
remote
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a remote
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area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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 in Japan.
Consequently
Linking Words
, visitors are challenging to have an easy life in that unprogressive destination
too
Change preposition
for too
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 long. In conclusion, having a magnificent natural view
surrounding
Wrong verb form
surrounded
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 by sightseers is
the
Correct article usage
a
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 significant benefit to
visit
Change the verb form
visiting
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 these open
environment
Fix the agreement mistake
environments
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;
on the contrary
Linking Words
, life increasing difficulty in
everyday
Replace the word
every day
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 routines is the chief pitfall of travelling in these ordinary regions.
Submitted by claire9377 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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