IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think high school graduates should travel or work for a period of time instead of going directly to study at university. Do the Advantages outweigh disadvantages?

#people #school #graduates #travel #work #period #time #study #university
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Education takes a long
period
Use synonyms
 in human life. Some societies believe that
students
Use synonyms
 should take a break from studying between high school and university, and travel or work for a short
time
Use synonyms
. Other
people
Use synonyms
 think that pupils have to go to university immediately after graduation. I will discuss its benefits and drawbacks. Until to end of high school, we almost study 8 years without any breaks and after long years to study
students
Use synonyms
 need some
time
Use synonyms
 for relaxing or to do different activities. At young ages travelling abroad is more beneficial because
people
Use synonyms
 can realize different cultures and lifestyles at an early age,
therefore
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 experience gives them a variety of perspectives. Working might be a good benefit for them
due to
Linking Words
 their need
such
Linking Words
 as doing their daily activities in university or saving money for future expenses.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, giving a break between levels of education has some disadvantages too.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 will lose their concentration on studying after a
period
Use synonyms
 of
time
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, their graduation years will be late
due to
Linking Words
 their lose
time
Use synonyms
 working or travelling during an education
period
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, if
students
Use synonyms
 want to make abroad except to work, it will be over cost for their families.
Besides
Linking Words
 these, working at younger ages would be discouraged for some
people
Use synonyms
 because of the bad treatment of employers. In conclusion, everything is good if we do it in the correct
period
Use synonyms
 of
time
Use synonyms
. Some
people
Use synonyms
 might be required to make different decisions
however
Linking Words
 as a human we shouldn't choose different ways till the expected
time
Use synonyms
 comes.
Submitted by zafer.kalkan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • gap year
  • practical experience
  • maturity
  • academic momentum
  • cultural exposure
  • diverse cultures
  • workforce
  • competitive edge
  • real-world skills
  • continuity
  • entry-level jobs
  • financial concerns
  • broadened perspectives
  • personal growth
What to do next:
Look at other essays: