IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

The restoration of an old building in major cities in the world cost numerous governments' expenditures. This money should be used in new housing and road development. Do you agree or disagree?

#restoration #cities #world #cost #governments #expenditures #money #road #development
Some governments had to spend money on the repair of old structures in key cities throughout the world. We know it is our old sculpture in
this
 town, it carries our ancient culture and structure which are created for
further
 improvement. For the manufacturing of new complexes and transportation by road rather than monumental for our new generation. I believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 more used construction will teach us which technology they have used and the previous history of civilization. The historic sculpture is carrying our old memories; we can know some of the new information used for the making of the monument; for that ,reason different type of tourists are visiting
this
 place and taking information which is developing by organic away; ,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
nevertheless
 government are not disappointed which are using the money for refurbishment because they can earn money from visitor and exploring their own culture; what had happened in the previous era. It is a tremendous story of the previous livelihood of humans.
On the other hand
, the new building and road-making development more essential for future improvement. without recent ,extension society can not drive more in future.
To conclude
, a historical monument is important for every old city in the world. we can show our previous history of civilization which are happening. For that reason need to preserve all construction by our government.
Submitted by nuresadikchowdhury175 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ Β»β€” a book that's free for πŸš€ Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: