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Band 7.5

Some people think that some individuals are naturally good leaders while others think individuals can learn leadership skills. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #individuals #leaders #leadership #skills
Opinions are divided on whether leadership is genetically passed to people or whether
this
 is a skill requiring effort to learn and master. I believe that both are potentially correct that individuals are born with
this
 trait, yet it can be learned later in life. On the one hand, it is understandable why some people contend that great leaders are born not made.
This
 is because leadership is closely associated with determination and charisma, which are mostly innate. As for the former, having determination would enable a person to endure hardships on the way to becoming successful
while
 possessing the latter quality is helpful in creating a good impression on partners,
thus
 gaining their trust and faith in achieving the same goal. A case in point is Steve Jobs, the former CEO of Apple. His perseverance
to pursue
Change preposition
in pursuing
show examples
 the manufacturing of ground-breaking digital products has proved to be fruitful, which has turned Apple into a billion-dollar business and contributed to the progress of the technological era.
On the other hand
, I believe that leadership is not limited to one’s genes.
Instead
, it can be taught by educational institutions and families. Regarding the former, it is common that many captainship classes have been opened, and learners in these classes can have opportunities to manage others in the future.
As a result
, many of them have acquired
this
 skill and led a certain group of people or companies in their lives. Concerning the latter, parents whose jobs require leadership-related skills, especially high-ranking politicians, can instruct their children to master them. Donald Trump,
for instance
, is known as a politician who has taught his children to become leaders,
thus
 helping them to enter the White House. In conclusion, I believe that the idea of some leaders being born naturally, and others being the product of education, are not mutually exclusive, and examples of both exist within our society.
Submitted by Dinh Anh Duc on

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task response
Task Response: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both views and providing an opinion. However, make sure to expand on the views of each side and provide a more clear and balanced opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The logical structure is well-maintained, with clear introduction and conclusion. Ensure that the supporting points are more thoroughly developed and connected to each other for improved coherence and cohesion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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