Some people believe that children that commit crimes should be punished. Others think the parents should be punished instead. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, most
people
think that
children
should be punished when they commit crimes,
while
others believe
parents
should be punished rather than their kids. In
this
essay, I will discuss both sides and will favour the latter view. On the one hand,
people
suggest that offspring should be punished
due to
their bad behaviours. In
this
way, they don’t repeat their negative actions.
For instance
, when a child commits a crime
such
as fighting with peers,
parents
can give punishment
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their kid, including a restriction on video games and meeting with peers. When
children
get these types of penalties, they can understand that their behaviour was wrong, resulting in
them
Change the pronoun
their
show examples
tendency
Replace the word
tend
show examples
to leave these acts behind them.
Also
, little ones can learn their every negative action has some consequences.
On the other hand
, some
people
believe that
parents
should get penalties
due to
being role models for their kids. The
children
spend most of their time with their family members since they are born, and their
parents
become the main characters in their life.
Therefore
, kids tend to imitate their father and mother in terms of their behaviours and moral values.
For example
, if little one sees that his/her dad screams when arguing with other
people
, they perceive
this
act as normal, resulting in copying
this
behaviour. In conclusion,
although
some
people
claim that
children
should get penalties because of committing crimes, I believe that
parents
have a majority of responsibility for their kids’ actions
due to
be
Change the verb form
being
show examples
role models in their offspring's life.
Submitted by jtbeyhive on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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