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Writing Samples /
Band 4

Space exploration is too much expensive and the money should be spent on more important things

#space #exploration #money
Exploration
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
space
 takes a lot of
money
 and the bills should be spent on more vital things. From my personal
experience
Add a comma
,experience
show examples
 I think that it would better waste
money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 important things. On the one hand, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 some benefits
exploration
Change preposition
to exploration
show examples
 of the
space
. Recently I saw that every month population of the world grow
up
Change preposition
to
show examples
 3,5 %
however
 rate of the death
lower
Add a missing verb
is lower
show examples
 and if it will continue for 200 years there can be
problem
Add an article
a problem
show examples
 with
place
Add an article
the place
show examples
.
For instance
, by
exploration
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
space
 we have been able
transportations
Change preposition
to transportations
show examples
 individuals there spent
money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology which
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
 to move faster.
On the other hand
, it has
a negative sides
Correct the article-noun agreement
a negative side
negative sides
show examples
 for
spent
Replace the word
spending
show examples
money
 on the
exploration
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
space
. In the 21st
century
Add a comma
,century
show examples
 a lot of countries of the world
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 a lot of problems like
war
Add an article
a war
the war
show examples
 between each other, illness which is spread
through out
Correct your spelling
throughout
show examples
 the world and a lack of natural resources like electricity and gas.
That governments
Change the determiner
That government
Those governments
show examples
 should
waist
Correct your spelling
waste
show examples
 their
money
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
solve
Change the verb form
solving
show examples
this problems
Change the determiner
this problem
these problems
show examples
instead
 of spending
money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
exploration
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
space
.
For example
, if they are spending their budget
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
exploration
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
space
 it can
leads
Change the verb form
lead
show examples
 to population discontent. Taking everything into consideration, I think it would be better if the governments first
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all
waist
Correct your spelling
waste
show examples
 their budget
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 solving problems than
investigate
Wrong verb form
investigating
show examples
money
 for
exploration
 of the
space
.
Submitted by ina1_95 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • exorbitant
  • myriad
  • pressing issues
  • allocated
  • advances
  • direct results
  • pave the way
  • uninhabitable
  • inspirational aspects
  • fuels innovation
  • shared goal
  • intellectual capital
  • budget overruns
  • tangible benefits
  • rationale
  • dedicating
  • returns on investment
What to do next:
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