In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents who educate their children themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do you think the advantages of this overweight the disadvantages?

#countries #parents #children #home #school

At present, it is true that more and more

parents

are mostly prefer

Change the verb form

mostly prefer

show examples

home

training

comparing

Wrong verb form

compared

show examples

to the common

education

for their

children

This

statement has its own benefits and drawbacks for kids, which will be discussed in

this

essay. On the one hand, there are several advantages of studying at

home

, under the control of

parents

. First of all,

home schooling

Correct your spelling

homeschooling

show examples

provides individual training, which in turn helps pupils to easily understand new themes and quickly memorize data.

Secondly

, if

parents

be a teacher

for

Change preposition

show examples

their

children

, they can share their own

experience

Fix the agreement mistake

experiences

show examples

, which should be useful for students in their future life and career.

Finally

, with the help of

home

education

relationship between

children

and

parents

can be stronger, the reason is that they spend a lot of time with each other

Change preposition

apply

show examples

discussing and learning new information.

On the other hand

, in spite of

Correct article usage

the pros

show examples

pros

Add a comma

,pros

show examples

its

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

also

has cons. A good example

for

Change preposition

show examples

this

is kids who spend the whole day at

home

without going out, they become weaker than their peers.

Additionally

Add a comma

,Additionally

show examples

as a result

home

education

children

can't communicate with their coevals, which causes many problems related to the character. In conclusion, from my point of view common

education

in schools is much

Change the word

apply

show examples

better and equally beneficial for

children

Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on Wed Jan 25 2023

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

216 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Homeschooling
Tailored educational approaches
One-on-One Attention
Safe Learning Environment
Cost-Effective
Family Bonding
Limited Socialization
Potential Knowledge Gaps
Regulatory Challenges
Dependence on Parental Commitment
Limited Extracurricular Opportunities

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In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents who educate their children themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do you think the advantages of this overweight the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people work for the same organization all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organizations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In the past important knowledge of culture and history was stored in the museums. Nowadays information is freely available on the internet therefore is no need of museums. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people feel that boarding schools (where students or pupils live at the school during the term) are an excellent option for children, while other people disagree for a number of reasons.Consider both sides of this debate and reach a conclusion.