IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some museums and art galleries charge admission fees, while others have free entry. Do you think the advantages of charging for admission outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Museums
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 and
galleries
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 are important to the public as they educate
historical
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on historical
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 knowledge and promote
arts
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the arts
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. Some of these
facilities
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 charge
people
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 for
entry
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,
while
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 others have free
admission
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. In my view, I would argue that there are more benefits to including an
entry
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 fee
rather
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apply
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than drawbacks. The advantages and disadvantages will be examined
further
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 in
this
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 essay. There are several advantages to charging
admission
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fees
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 in the two public buildings.
Firstly
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, with better funding, administrators can constantly develop the facility. The content and
art
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 displayed,
for instance
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, can be constantly renewed every season.
In addition
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, the interiors and lighting of the building will continue to be renovated when necessary.
Next,
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fees
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 will restrict the amount or type of
people
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 entering
galleries
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 or
museums
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. To illustrate
this
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, some free
museums
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 can get overcrowded
and
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, and
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 visitors will have a hard time enjoying the content exhibited.
Moreover
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, with free
admission
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, children sometimes disrupt
art
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galleries
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 by running and making loud noises.
On the other hand
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, there are some drawbacks to
entry
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fees
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. Limited access means limited
people
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 can be educated and enjoy
art
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 exhibitions.
For example
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, some
people
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 may be appalled by the
entry
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 costs of exhibitions. They become reluctant to visit these
facilities
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which
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, which
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 may educate their children or provide entertainment for them.
Furthermore
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, with fewer
people
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 visiting the
facilities
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, it can have a knock-on effect on the
museums
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 and
galleries
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 themselves. If there are not enough visitors, they would not be able to be maintained
and
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, and
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 upkeep costs cannot be covered.
To conclude
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, I think the positives of
admission
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 costs outweigh the negatives. If the
fees
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 can be managed so that more
people
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 can afford them,
museums
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 and
art
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galleries
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 can continue to develop their
facilities
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 and content, which not only provide historical education, but
also
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 entertainment for society.

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task
Be clear about your view in the first line of the essay.
task
Use more exact examples from real places or events to back up your point.
coherence
Link your ideas more tightly from one sentence to the next.
coherence
Keep long ideas in small, easy words to help flow.
grammar
Check small grammar mistakes that can slow the reader.
content
The writer gives a clear view that fees may have good effects.
structure
There is a clear plan with an intro, two body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence
Good use of linking words like firstly, on the other hand, and for example.
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