IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some argue younger people are not suitable for important positions in the government, while others think this is a good idea

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Many young people
work
Use synonyms
 on a volunteer basis, and
this
Linking Words
 can only be beneficial for both the individual and society as a whole.
However
Linking Words
, I do not agree that we should
therefore
Linking Words
 force all teenagers to do unpaid
work
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.
While
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 there are some benefits to getting a job straight after school, I would argue that it
id
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 better to go to college or university. Most young people are already under enough pressure with their
studies
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, without being given the added responsibility of working in their spare time.The option to start
work
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 straight after school is attractive for several reasons. Many young people want to start earning as soon as possible. In
this
Linking Words
 way, they can become independent, and they will be able to afford their own house or start a family. In
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
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 of their career,
young
Correct article usage
the young
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 generation
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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decide to find
work
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, rather than continue their
studies
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. They will have
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
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 to gain real experience and learn particular skills related to their chosen profession. They may lead to promotion and a successful career.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, they have many years of
work
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them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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when they finish their tuition. I reckon, that it is more beneficial for pupils to continue their
studies
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.
Firstly
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, academic
qualification
Fix the agreement mistake
qualifications
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 are required in many professions.
For instance
Linking Words
, it is impossible to become
doctor
Correct article usage
a doctor
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, teacher or lawyer without having the relevant degree.
As a result
Linking Words
, university graduates have access to more and better job opportunities, and they tend to earn higher salaries than those with fewer skills.
Secondly
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, the job market is becoming increasingly competitive, and sometimes there are hundreds of applicants for one position in a company. Young humans who do not have attainments from a university or college will not be able to
complete
Correct pronoun usage
themcomplete
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. To summarise, it seems to me that learners are more likely to be successful in their
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
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 if they
countinue
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continue
 their
studies
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 beyond
school
Correct article usage
the school
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 level.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • far-reaching consequences
  • life and professional experience
  • judicious policymaking
  • fresh perspectives
  • stagnant systems
  • progressive and inclusive policies
  • political acumen
  • ineffective governance
  • demographic
  • long-term planning
  • authoritative presence
  • manipulation
  • seasoned politicians
  • adaptable
  • open-minded
  • flexibility in problem-solving
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