doctors, nurses and teachers make a great contribution to society and should be payed more than entertainment and sports celebrities

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In spite of the fact that celebrities and sports identities have a place
to
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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an industry that provides tall paying
employments
Fix the agreement mistake
employment

It seems that employments may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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, the individuals who do more prominent great like specialists, medical caretakers and instructors are not acknowledged fiscally. A few accept that
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma after the subordinating conjunction that. Consider removing the comma.

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these
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

ought to be given way better pay for their
work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essay will examine that, in my opinion, the compensation given to the
wellbeing
Correct your spelling
well-being

The word wellbeing doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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care specialists and the teachers ought to be higher, as they make a greater commitment to
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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in
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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general growth. Performers like actors and sports
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals

It seems that individual may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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offer assistance in tying the local
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

together
by
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through

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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their
work
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, as they offer assistance to form a bond between like disapproved
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Besides
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, being
an
Change the article
a

The article an may be incorrect. Consider changing it to agree with the beginning sound of the following word compelling.

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compelling identity, they too offer assistance in making social awareness among the local
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

by tending to different issues. For illustration,
Polio
Correct article usage
the Polio

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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annihilation camp was a colossal victory, because it was advanced by a popular celebrity, which made a difference in
far reaching
Add a hyphen
far-reaching

It seems that far reaching is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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mindfulness.
Thus
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they ought to be acknowledged for the social
work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

done by them for
the
Change the word
their

The word the may be incorrect in this context. Consider changing it.

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betterment. Despite all these, the
work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

contributed by
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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humans having a place
to
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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the field of medicine and instruction is much greater than
any
Change preposition
in any

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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other
regions
Fix the agreement mistake
region

It seems that regions may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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. In expansion, they frequently
work
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

at odd hours and some of the time at the
fetched
Replace the word
fetch

The word fetched doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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of their
claim
Replace the word
claimed

The word claim doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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health. For occurrence, late night crises or working additional time is exceptionally common with the therapeutic specialists, in any case, they don't get any extra
motivations
Fix the agreement mistake
motivation

It seems that motivations may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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for the same.
Subsequently
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it is critical that
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

efforts should be acknowledged in terms of money to motivate them to
work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

harder. In conclusion, in spite of higher
contribution
Fix the agreement mistake
contributions

It seems that contribution may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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to
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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society,
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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educators and
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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health workers do not get their due.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essay discussed that,
according to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

me, even though celebrities and sports personalities should be paid well for their
work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

these
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

should be getting higher returns for their selfless contributions.

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • contribution
  • essential services
  • long hours
  • stressful
  • well-being
  • development
  • entertain
  • inspire
  • exorbitant salaries
  • unfair
  • talented individuals
  • professions
What to do next:
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