Many children are encouraged by their parents to get a part-time job in their free time. What are the advantages and disadvantages to children of doing so?

The role of money in

this

present world is inescapable. Several toddlers are motivated by their family members to get temporary jobs in their leisure time.

This

essay will discuss both views prior to reaching a personal conclusion and I believe that infants should complete their studies because when they have a full soul to do work. To commence with, Children can either learn new skills or enhance their creativity and they understand the value of money. Videlicet, Adolescents are becoming more confident in their

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

. They should meet several natives in their daily routine.

Therefore

their

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

build experience in their organizations or industry and they can effortlessly secure their future because it is extremely hard to generate bank notes. Juveniles can

also

learn about industry management and financial management.

For example

, Toronto

university

Capitalize word

University

show examples

revealed more than three-fifths of students become more confident in their

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

because it is already becoming perfect in their field they can do independent tasks on several brands and Canadian youngsters have become wealthy at a young age.

Thus

, it has several advantages because they can effectively learn new commodities.

In addition

, the fact cannot be denied that it has numerous disadvantages as well. When offspring do a part-time job, it has fewer hours to complete their academic work. It can lead to reducing their performance in the grade of their academic

due to

shortages of the moment.

For instance

, they must learn about time management because teenagers do not have any proper knowledge regarding

this

problem.

On the other hand

, younger people have less time for their parents and family members they have a high burden. Sometimes infants live stressful

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

at younger ages.

As a result

, it has an extreme level of pressure on children.

To conclude

, unquestionably, when adolescents are doing temporary jobs it has several pros and cons.

Nevertheless

, scions must focus on their academic performance it is more important than unskilled endeavours.

Submitted by lovishhhh on Thu Jan 26 2023

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task response

Ensure that the essay fully addresses the task prompt and presents a clear position on the given topic. The argument should be supported with relevant examples and explanations.

coherence cohesion

The essay lacks logical progression of ideas and does not effectively connect the supporting points. Use appropriate transition words and cohesive devices to improve the flow of ideas.

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

322 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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