IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In some countries children have very strict rules of behaviour, while in other countries they are allowed to do almost anything they want. To what extent should children have to follow rules? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#countries #children #rules #behaviour
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In some
countries
Add a comma
,countries
show examples
 children have very strict
rules
Use synonyms
 of behaviour,
while
Linking Words
 in other countries they are allowed to do whatever they want. Parents teach their
kids
Use synonyms
 to be kind
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 everyone in a good manner.
further
Linking Words
, they will suggest not to be rude to your friends and people who are elder than you.
Moreover
Linking Words
, guardians will think their child to be polite, eat properly,
sitting
Wrong verb form
sit
show examples
silent
Change the word
silently
show examples
 and
playing
Wrong verb form
play
show examples
 with best friends.
Firstly
Linking Words
, good family
rules
Use synonyms
guides
Correct subject-verb agreement
guide
show examples
childerns
Correct your spelling
children
children's
 behaviour in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 right way. they say exactly what way of behaving you expect.
For example
Linking Words
, we speak to each other with respect like please, thanks and sorry.
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
show examples
 they can tell their
kids
Use synonyms
 to be clean and tidy. We have to make
rules
Use synonyms
 about physical behaviour, safety, daily routines and screen use.
For instance
Linking Words
, tell your
mothet
Correct your spelling
mother
 or father about you met the person
wants
Correct pronoun usage
who wants
show examples
 to be your friend
which
Correct word choice
but
show examples
 you have never
meet
Change the verb form
met
show examples
 him.
Secondly
Linking Words
, many countries have
a punishable
Correct the article-noun agreement
punishable rules
a punishable rule
show examples
rules
Use synonyms
 against both
kids
Use synonyms
 and parents like guardians should not violate their
kids
Use synonyms
 or beat them and less caring is a punishable offence in some multinational areas.
Aswellas
Correct your spelling
As well as
 in
yougsters
Correct your spelling
youngsters
 there are some limitations in watching smartphones and
televisions
Fix the agreement mistake
television
show examples
 and
also
Linking Words
 prefer the family should be
loving
Correct article usage
a loving
show examples
 and
nuturing
Correct your spelling
nurturing
 environment. In my point of view, every nationality is having different guidelines for youngsters by keeping in mind
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
age, environment, diseases and
genitical
Correct your spelling
genetic
genetical
 disorders and every big member
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 a family
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 a right
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their little one.
to conclude
Linking Words
, humans should be more concentrated
baout
Correct your spelling
about
 their little
ones
Change noun form
ones'
one's
show examples
 life, studies, health and
mental
Correct pronoun usage
their mental
show examples
 way of acting towards other
collegues
Correct your spelling
colleagues
.
Submitted by prudhvi.pinninti18 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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