In some countries, secondary schools aim to provide a general education across a range of subjects. In others, Children focus on a narrow range of subjects related to a particular career. Which do you think is appropriate in today’s world?

#countries #schools #aim #education #range #subjects #children #focus #career #today’s #world

Different countries have distinct views of the course

range

that are suitable for

students

to take.

While

students

can be more concentrated on

few

Correct article usage

a few

show examples

subjects

, I believe they should have the

chance

to get to know a wider

range

of courses to cope with today’s developing world. In some countries, educational opportunities are only

provid

Correct your spelling

provide

provided

towards

specific

Add an article

a specific

show examples

career

path

Fix the agreement mistake

paths

show examples

Such

limited selections will make

students

more focused on the courses they are taking and reduce the

chance

dictracting

Correct your spelling

distracting

by other unrelated

subjects

This

leads to a better understanding

Change preposition

show examples

the course they take and enhance the

efficience

Correct your spelling

efficiency

For instance

, one secondary school student John

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

has

been

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

dreamed to become a police officer since he was 10. He can achieve his goal

Change the word

apply

show examples

quicker by

take

Change the verb form

taking

show examples

the

police related

Add a hyphen

police-related

show examples

courses at school.

However

, if

children

cannot decide what they want to do in the future,

take

Wrong verb form

taking

show examples

a general education that contains a variety of

subjects

could be a better choice. Meanwhile, it would be difficult and unfair to let

children

Change the verb form

apply

show examples

choose what job to do in future before they attend secondary

schools

Fix the agreement mistake

school

show examples

. Because they do not have a solid understanding of what their true desires are, and they do not have a very-developed mindset yet.

Thus

children

are entitled to have a

chance

to get to know a wide

range

subjects

. By exploring these different

subjects

children

can find their passions in certain

arear

Correct your spelling

areas

show examples

, and

passionate

Replace the word

passion

show examples

can help people to achieve higher achievement in the long run

as well as

maintain a happier feeling during their work. In conclusion,

although

narrow

Add an article

the narrow

a narrow

show examples

range

subjects

can help secondary

students

to step into

career

Add an article

a career

show examples

quickly, I believe that they should have a

chance

to learn a wider

range

subjects

Submitted by xinxiao9837 on Fri Jan 27 2023

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

292 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In some countries, secondary schools aim to provide a general education across a range of subjects. In others, Children focus on a narrow range of subjects related to a particular career. Which do you think is appropriate in today’s world?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people believe that exams are an inappropriate way of measuring student’s performance and should be replaced by continuous assessments. Do you agree or disagree with this view?

The movement of people from villages to cities for work can cause serious problems in both places. What are the serious problems associated with this? What measures can be taken to solve these problems?

Older generation often hold some traditional ideas on the correct way of life, thoughts and behavior. Most people argue that it is not helpful for younger generations to prepare for modern life. To what extent do you agree or disagree

The leaders or directors of organizations are often older people. But some people say that young people can also be a leader. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that what children watch on television influence their behaviour. Others say that amount of time spent watching television influence their behaviour. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.