some people think that children should be encouraged to play outdoor games that require physical activities instead of playing computer games at home. Do you agree or disagree?

Opinions are divided as to whether young people should be supported to do outdoor
activities
rather than play computer
games
at home.
Although
there are lots of benefits of outside
games
, there are
also
some drawbacks. From my perspective, I completely agree that playing in outdoor
activities
has much more advantages. On the one hand, some people believe that children playing physical exercises outside the home has various benefits. First of all, there are a lot of
activities
to do,
such
as playing sports and climbing a hill. These
games
will enhance their social skills as young generations have to play or do
activities
as a group which makes them learn and help each other when faced with any problems.
In addition
, their teenagers
also
learn new things from nature that they cannot learn in the classroom.
For instance
, when adolescents appoint to trek into a forest at the weekend and one of their participants occurs an accident, they will learn to help each other and attempt to tackle
this
issue together. By doing so, outdoor
games
also
improve their endurance and immunities to be healthy.
On the other hand
, there are some drawbacks to playing computer
games
.
Initially
,
adolescents
Add the comma(s)
,adolescents
show examples
these days spend a lot of hours playing online
games
.
As a result
, they have bad behaviour and ignore their surroundings.
For example
, teenagers instantly play
games
after finishing school and their parents try to tell them to do homework or housework, but they are frustrated and express bad manners to their parents. Another drawback is that children have a health problem – bad eyesight – which occurs from seeing blue light for a long time. In conclusion, there are various disadvantages of playing online
games
, in my view, doing outdoor
activities
have much more benefits to improving their children’s skills.
Submitted by phawanakleesuwan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: