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Band 3.5

All careers have their benefits and drawbacks .And being professional artist. discuss both views and give your opinion

#careers #artist
Some people believe that it is so difficult to be a professional artist. There
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 myriad
of
Change preposition
apply
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advantages and disadvantages to
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
show examples
 one. First of all, many mankind can line a
pictures
Correct the article-noun agreement
picture
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 who has a talent for drawing.
Moreover
, it is up to people's
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
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 and interests.
Also
, humans are able to
creating
Change the verb
create
show examples
 new art. Becoming a painter can help to be famous in some
part
Fix the agreement mistake
parts
show examples
 of the world,
such
 as being full-featured and self-employed. What is more, it will be significantly useful for brain systems.
In addition
, it demands plenty of time, but it can assist to earn money.
Furthermore
, artists hand over
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 pictures to art galleries and museums.
This
 is because it
help
Change the verb form
helps
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 to enjoy the benefits,
for example
,
this
Change the determiner
these
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 individuals sell these paintings highly prices. Second of all, it has
also
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of against sides. The major problem is that
it
Change the pronoun
its
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impact
Change the verb form
impacts
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 on eyesight
to
Change preposition
of
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 painters.
Furthermore
, it may
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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cause
to
Change preposition
apply
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health problems,
such
 as
exhausted
Replace the word
exhaustion
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 or feeling worse.
Also
, it
tend
Change the verb form
tends
show examples
 to wrong fulfilment,
for example
, misdeeds.
Moreover
, it
requirement
Replace the word
requires
show examples
 all day and one
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
show examples
 not really care about health.
This
 is
be cause
Correct your spelling
because
show examples
 to bad effect on memory. Taking everything into account, being a professional painter is not easy. In my opinion, individuals should be
artist
Add an article
an artist
show examples
 who has
talent
Add an article
a talent
show examples
 for it and one has chosen to be an artist.
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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