IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Some people think that having a set a retirement age (e.g. 65 years ) for everybody, regardless of occupation, is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive a pension at an earlier age. Do you agree or disagree? Which types of workers do you think should benefit from earlier retirement?

#people #retirement #age #e #g #years #everybody #occupation #workers #pension #benefit
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According to
Linking Words
 the
labor
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labour
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 standard law of Taiwan, as long as workers meet the conditions of "working for 15
years
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 and at least 55
years
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 old" or "working for 25
years
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" in the same business unit, they can apply for employment in accordance with Article 53 of the Labor Standards Law. An employer submits an application for "voluntary retirement".
However
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, the average life expectancy of Taiwanese citizens is 80.6
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years-old
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years old
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, in order to strengthen the use of human resources for middle-aged and elderly people and reduce the impact of "decreasing birthrates" on the workforce, experienced and healthy workers will continue to work until the
age
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 of 65. I disagree workers retire at an
ealier
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earlier
age
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 unless it is voluntary retirement, or some special career can retire at the
age
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 of 55;
For example
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: fireman,
police man
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policeman
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 or athlete who need more body strength need
retire
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to retire
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ealier
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earlier
, these jobs
needs
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need
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 highly physical power.
For me
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Me
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, I have dreams of retirement
age
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, maybe 40
years
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, but I have to buy the lottery.
Submitted by workthing5421 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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