Some people think that national sports teams and individual men and women who represent their country should be financially supported by the government. However, others argue that they should be funded by non-government sources (e.g. Business, scholarships, etc.). Discuss both views and give your opinion.
#people #sports #teams #men #women #country #government #non-government #sources #e #g #business #scholarships
In
this
contemporary world, international games bare
great value, Correct your spelling
bear
this
giving high importance to sports
persons. A group of people
advocate that these gaming teams and individuals have to be funded by the national authorities where
Rephrase
apply
as
others think they should be sponsored by business groups and awarded scholarships. Correct word choice
whereas
Although
there are advantages to sponsorships, I believe the former method is better.
To commence, it is the duty of the nation to take care of the people
who represent their nation in sporting events. To illustrate, by financing the sports
people
they become government
employees, hence
assuring them of the security of their future and lots of pride as being the face of their country.For example
, Indian cricket captains are employed by the government
thus
they work as coaches or at any post even after retiring from the pitch game.Therefore
, giving them the opportunity to be an assurity.
On the other hand
, granting scholarships to a sportsman will help the country to find the fittest of all as this
allows only the best athlete to get qualified.Moreover
, sponsorship for non-governmental firms like corporates will give them the chance to contribute to their national advancement meanwhile easing the financial burden of government
funding.
After analysing both sides, I think the business groups should finance the sports
team and individuals as a result
the sports
people
will be able to experience the most facilities out of it. To elaborate, financial constraints are imposed, if it is a public fund whereas
advanced technology and coaching can be availed when it is done by a non-governmental firm.
To conclude
, there are numerous benefits to the government
and the sports
team or individuals when they get financially supported by non-governmental authorities because of the fewer limitations.This
will also
open a lot of new opportunities for training that improves performance and quality.Submitted by amruthasanal98 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Task Response
Ensure a clearer introduction and conclusion that address the prompt directly. Work on providing more specific and relevant examples to support your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure of your arguments is generally good. However, make sure to use cohesive devices to link your ideas more effectively. Also, include a concise introduction and conclusion that summarize your main points.
Lexical Resource
You have a good range of vocabulary overall, but there are some inaccuracies and lack of precision in word choice. Try using more varied and precise vocabulary to enhance your essay.
Grammatical Range
Your range of grammar structures is adequate, but there are noticeable errors in sentence structure, subject-verb agreement, and word forms. Aim for more accurate and varied use of grammar structures to improve your writing.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.