IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#person’s #status #possessions #values #honour #kindness #trust
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There are supposed to be more and more changes in
criterias
Correct your spelling
criteria
 to judge a person in tandem with the rapid development of
society
Use synonyms
.
While
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 many
people
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 argue that a person’s worth should be evaluated based on social
status
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 and material possessions, I strongly believe that
this
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 viewpoint can be acceptable but it needs to add more old-fashioned
values
Use synonyms
 to be more rational.
This
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 essay is to explain
reasons
Correct article usage
the reasons
show examples
 why I have that point of view.
Firstly
Linking Words
, social
status
Use synonyms
 and material possessions are reasonable ways to evaluate a person’s value but
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 cannot give a
comprehenive
Correct your spelling
comprehensive
 viewpoint. Specifically, it is apparent that being wealthy and having high social
status
Use synonyms
mean
Correct subject-verb agreement
means
show examples
 that
people
Use synonyms
 have some abilities to contribute
Use synonyms
values
Fix the agreement mistake
value
show examples
 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
 and earn money.
However
Linking Words
, there are many circumstances when these rich
people
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 have adverse behaviours with others.
For instance
Linking Words
, the wealthy do not show
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
respect towards others,
or
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 many rich
people
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 always try to earn money without obeying laws.
Two
Correct article usage
The two
show examples
 examples above somehow demonstrate that using only social
status
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 and material possessions as a scale can be superficial.
Secondly
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, conventional
values
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 still evidently play an essential role in assessing a person’s worth. There is no doubt that when something lasts for a long time, it is obviously valuable
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
society
Use synonyms
 to some extent. Especially, the old-fashioned
values
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,
such
Linking Words
 as kindness, trust and honour, become significantly important in a period when many other superficial
values
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 are emphasized. As an illustration
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
Linking Words
, there are many normal and poor
people
Use synonyms
 who are still willing to do charity and contribute efforts to the community, which apparently deserves recognition from
society
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
, I suppose that the aforementioned example is an evident demonstration
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the fact that old-fashioned
values
Use synonyms
 are a truly important scale to evaluating
people
Use synonyms
’s worth. In conclusion, from my perspective, based on all rationales discussed above, it is necessary for
people
Use synonyms
 to use a range of
criterias
Correct your spelling
criteria
 in order to have a comprehensive assessment of a
person’worth
Correct your spelling
person worth
persons worth
.
Submitted by hklinh2792001 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Social status
  • Material possessions
  • Old-fashioned values
  • Honour
  • Kindness
  • Trust
  • Judged
  • Importance
  • Traditional
  • Reflection
  • Achievements
  • Hard work
  • Disregarded
  • Well-balanced
  • Meaningful
  • Cultural norms
  • Societal norms
What to do next:
Look at other essays: