Young people should spend more time on cultural activities such as music and theater and less time on sport. How far do you agree with this statement?

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Nowadays, some
people
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deem that young generations have to spend more
time
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on cultural
activities
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rather than
sports
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activities
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.
However
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, I do not agree with
this
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point because it has possible solutions to fix
this
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issue
instead
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of reducing the activity of
sports
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. Reducing the amount of
time
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which is spent on
sports
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is not a proper way to increase young
people
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's attention to cultural
activities
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. In
this
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era, playing
sports
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games
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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many benefits for them
instead
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of using technological gadgets frequently.
Also
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, doing
activities
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make
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makes
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more healthy of their physical and mental, and develop their community skills to join a social lifestyle.
Therefore
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,
people
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should use different methods to develop
children
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's
art
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knowledge.
On the other hand
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, spending less
time
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on cultural
activities
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has some drawbacks,
such
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as lessening their knowledge about music,
art
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and other cultural
activities
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.
Thus
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, the proper ways to increase young
people
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's attention on cultural
activities
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are the parents and teachers should introduce information about
art
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, theatre and others to their
children
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as they
were
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are
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younger, and teach them about how to manage their
time
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equally on both
sports
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and
art
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.
To sum up
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, some part of the population believe that
children
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need to
take
Verb problem
pay
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more attention to cultural
activities
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than
sports
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, but it has several disadvantages to using
this
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method. Even though, we can solve
this
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problem in other ways like developing their knowledge about cultural
activities
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and teaching them to coordinate their
time
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properly when they were
children
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.
Hence
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, young generations can spend equal
time
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on both
activities
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.

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task response
The essay addresses the prompt and presents relevant arguments both in favor of and against the given statement. However, the response could be more comprehensive and address all aspects of the given prompt.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure, with clear introduction and conclusion. However, the ideas could be more cohesively linked, and transitions between paragraphs can be improved for better coherence.
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