Young people should spend more time on cultural activities such as music and theater and less time on sport. How far do you agree with this statement?
Nowadays, some
people
deem that young generations have to spend more time
on cultural activities
rather than sports
activities
. However
, I do not agree with this
point because it has possible solutions to fix this
issue instead
of reducing the activity of sports
.
Reducing the amount of time
which is spent on sports
is not a proper way to increase young people
's attention to cultural activities
. In this
era, playing sports
games have
many benefits for them Correct subject-verb agreement
has
instead
of using technological gadgets frequently. Also
, doing activities
make
more healthy of their physical and mental, and develop their community skills to join a social lifestyle. Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
Therefore
, people
should use different methods to develop children
's art
knowledge.
On the other hand
, spending less time
on cultural activities
has some drawbacks, such
as lessening their knowledge about music, art
and other cultural activities
. Thus
, the proper ways to increase young people
's attention on cultural activities
are the parents and teachers should introduce information about art
, theatre and others to their children
as they were
younger, and teach them about how to manage their Wrong verb form
are
time
equally on both sports
and art
.
To sum up
, some part of the population believe that children
need to take
more attention to cultural Verb problem
pay
activities
than sports
, but it has several disadvantages to using this
method. Even though, we can solve this
problem in other ways like developing their knowledge about cultural activities
and teaching them to coordinate their time
properly when they were children
. Hence
, young generations can spend equal time
on both activities
.Submitted by gnandin25 on
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task response
The essay addresses the prompt and presents relevant arguments both in favor of and against the given statement. However, the response could be more comprehensive and address all aspects of the given prompt.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure, with clear introduction and conclusion. However, the ideas could be more cohesively linked, and transitions between paragraphs can be improved for better coherence.