Nowadays both men and women spend a lot of money on beauty care. This was not so in the past. What may be the root cause of this behavior? Discuss the reasons and possible results.

#men #women #money #beauty #care #was #root #behavior #results

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In today’s world, males and females use cosmetics products more than ever which leads to a huge amount of cash has been spent on those materials.

However

this

trend was not followed in the past ,and

this

essay will discuss the causes and effects of

this

issue in detail. It is considered society

Change preposition

apply

show examples

to be compared to superstars like actors and actresses’ behaviour and try to imitate them.

This

imitation affects not only their clothing and behaviour but

also

it has an impact on their natural appearance.

Therefore

, both men and women spend a huge amount of money going to spas to take care of their appearance.

Moreover

, humans believe that well-groomed people are always the centre of attraction and they will

take

Verb problem

pay

show examples

more attention.

Therefore

, they will become more successful.

For instance

, head managers tend to employ more charming girls or boys, especially in some jobs like cashiers, flight attendants, or travel agents.

Consequently

, the overuse of cosmetics has many results. People are really at risk of losing their natural appearance. They just use some cosmetic stuff to seem more beautiful, make themselves younger, or even try to keep their skin more appealing.

That is

why the natural elegance of society disappears.

In addition

, if individuals spend all of their salaries on beauty items, they would not have the ability to afford other life expenses,

such

as accommodation, food, or drinks. In the worst case, they can sell their house to borrow money to pay for their beauty items. In conclusion,

although

people nowadays spend money on beauty products to take care of themselves, it can have some unwanted results.

Submitted by tnguyen010096 on Sun Jan 29 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that the introduction and conclusion contain a clear restatement of the topic and a preview of the main points to be discussed.

task achievement

Provide specific and relevant examples to support the main points and ideas presented in the essay.

lexical resource

Expand your vocabulary by using a wider range of synonyms and more complex expressions.

grammatical range

Pay attention to sentence structure, grammar, and punctuation to improve the overall accuracy of the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

272 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

1. Proliferation
2. Adhere to
3. Celebrities and influencers
4. Discretionary spending
5. Self-esteem
6. Attractiveness
7. Technological advancements
8. High-quality products and services
9. Health consciousness
10. Holistic wellness

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Nowadays both men and women spend a lot of money on beauty care. This was not so in the past. What may be the root cause of this behavior? Discuss the reasons and possible results.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Task 2: In some countries, more young adults continue to live with their parents even after they have completed education and found jobs. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? Discuss both views

Some people think that schools have to be more entertaining, while others think that their sole purpose is to educate. Which do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

People who decide on a career path early in their lives and keep to it are more likely to have a satisfying working life than those who change jobs frequently. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages togeather. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?