Nowadays both men and women spend a lot of money on beauty care. This was not so in the past. What may be the root cause of this behavior? Discuss the reasons and possible results.

In today’s world, males and females use cosmetics products more than ever which leads to a huge amount of cash has been spent on those materials.
However
,
this
trend was not followed in the past ,and
this
essay will discuss the causes and effects of
this
issue in detail. It is considered society
like
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to be compared to superstars like actors and actresses’ behaviour and try to imitate them.
This
imitation affects not only their clothing and behaviour but
also
it has an impact on their natural appearance.
Therefore
, both men and women spend a huge amount of money going to spas to take care of their appearance.
Moreover
, humans believe that well-groomed people are always the centre of attraction and they will
take
Verb problem
pay
show examples
more attention.
Therefore
, they will become more successful.
For instance
, head managers tend to employ more charming girls or boys, especially in some jobs like cashiers, flight attendants, or travel agents.
Consequently
, the overuse of cosmetics has many results. People are really at risk of losing their natural appearance. They just use some cosmetic stuff to seem more beautiful, make themselves younger, or even try to keep their skin more appealing.
That is
why the natural elegance of society disappears.
In addition
, if individuals spend all of their salaries on beauty items, they would not have the ability to afford other life expenses,
such
as accommodation, food, or drinks. In the worst case, they can sell their house to borrow money to pay for their beauty items. In conclusion,
although
people nowadays spend money on beauty products to take care of themselves, it can have some unwanted results.
Submitted by tnguyen010096 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion contain a clear restatement of the topic and a preview of the main points to be discussed.
task achievement
Provide specific and relevant examples to support the main points and ideas presented in the essay.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary by using a wider range of synonyms and more complex expressions.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure, grammar, and punctuation to improve the overall accuracy of the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • 1. Proliferation
  • 2. Adhere to
  • 3. Celebrities and influencers
  • 4. Discretionary spending
  • 5. Self-esteem
  • 6. Attractiveness
  • 7. Technological advancements
  • 8. High-quality products and services
  • 9. Health consciousness
  • 10. Holistic wellness
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