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Band 4.5

Some people say now there is less communication between family members than in the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#people #communication #members
It is argued that communication between family members declined recently.
This
 essay completely agrees with the above statement because today's hectic
life
 and different scientific inventions have driven people apart from themselves.
Firstly
,in
this
 contemporary era,
life
 has become very difficult to lead. As
life
 became very competitive,
one
 has to
work
 about 8-10 hours a day to lead a happy
life
 .
Moreover
, without working hard
one
 cannot provide his family with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
basic needs like food and clothes as the price of every domestic product
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 risen up .
Furthermore
 ,
one
 has to
work
 day and night to increase their standard of living and to survive in
this
 competitive society. That's why because of
this
 hectic
life
one
 cannot give his family the time they need.
Secondly
, because of today's different modern
Correct your spelling
equipment
equipments
Add a comma
,equipments
show examples
 we are no longer dependent on our family members.
For instance
,  if we need any help regarding any topic , we can look on the Internet or can do our
work
 easily with different scientific inventions.
As a result
 , the distance between  the people increased .
On the contrary
,earlier people used to be dependent on each other as they were not much familiar with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern scientific machines but now they can easily get their
work
 done with the help of the Internet. Thereby, we can say, different modern types of machinery and
due to
 busy
life
one
 could not  give their time to their family which resulted in
increasing
Add an article
the increasing
show examples
 distance between them .
Submitted by nislam1803 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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