IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say now there is less communication between family members than in the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree

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It is argued that communication between family members declined recently.
This
Linking Words
 essay completely agrees with the above statement because today's hectic
life
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 and different scientific inventions have driven people apart from themselves.
Firstly
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,in
this
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 contemporary era,
life
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 has become very difficult to lead. As
life
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 became very competitive,
one
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 has to
work
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 about 8-10 hours a day to lead a happy
life
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 .
Moreover
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, without working hard
one
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 cannot provide his family with
the
Correct article usage
apply
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basic needs like food and clothes as the price of every domestic product
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 risen up .
Furthermore
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 ,
one
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 has to
work
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 day and night to increase their standard of living and to survive in
this
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 competitive society. That's why because of
this
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 hectic
life
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one
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 cannot give his family the time they need.
Secondly
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, because of today's different modern
Correct your spelling
equipment
equipments
Add a comma
,equipments
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 we are no longer dependent on our family members.
For instance
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,  if we need any help regarding any topic , we can look on the Internet or can do our
work
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 easily with different scientific inventions.
As a result
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 , the distance between  the people increased .
On the contrary
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,earlier people used to be dependent on each other as they were not much familiar with
the
Correct article usage
apply
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modern scientific machines but now they can easily get their
work
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 done with the help of the Internet. Thereby, we can say, different modern types of machinery and
due to
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 busy
life
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one
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 could not  give their time to their family which resulted in
increasing
Add an article
the increasing
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 distance between them .

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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